Wicked Games
by Hella-Chan
Summary: (Non-Con-Somewhat A.U for those reasons) Ichigo Kurosaki has lost his Soul Reaper powers, now a normal teenager again and living his life how he was "supposed" to; he has fallen into a dark role of depression. But a certain blonde-haired shop keeper isn't about to let this role play out any longer. Profanity use, sexual implications and or sexual situations Rating may go up. Yaoi!
1. Prologue: And Now Things Bleed Out

_I felt like I needed to update and re-upload this prologue.  
_ _I'm thinking of doing this to all the chapters actually, that is, correcting the mistakes and shit like that._

 _But I hope you still enjoy the chapters as I go on correcting them, things will still be the same just a bit more interacting and stuff, so I hope you continue to read and enjoy this as I go on. And do not worry, I will try my best to finish this story._

 _Thank you to all who have favorited/followed this story, and a big THANK YOU to those who have reviewed! You guys are seriously gorgeous people and I wanna hug you all for all the support and kind words!_

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 **Prologue: And Now Things Bleed Out.**

 _I don't know how it all started, now that I think about it, everything about the winter war was all a blur. Everything seemed to happen at once and at such a fast pace I barely had time to comprehend just what was being said, or what was happening, to me; for the first half of the winter war I knew that I was battling the Arrancars and Espada's inside the pure white void that makes up Hueco Mundo, then I battled Aizen in the replica of Karakura Town—the replica was made by Mayuri Kurosutchi in order to fool Aizen and his soldiers—and successfully I had defeated him. But not without a loss or two of my own..._

 _I didn't defeat Aizen alone of course, no, he was much too skilled in the many different arts of Kido and serious mind games, but with help from my father Isshin Kurosaki, including old hat-and-clogs Kisuke Urahara, it was only with their help that I managed to find my inner strength while inside the Dangai pecipace world and pull forth that immense spiritual pressure and power that comes with the mysterious zanpakuto, Zangestu._

 _Shortly after the war was said and done, and everything seemed as though it had returned to normal with little to no damage done to the real Karakura Town...Everything seemed as though...It had all faded to black._

 _Yeah, it sounds like I'm being another one of those melodramatic teenager's, but that exactly how I would describe my time without my soul reaper powers, describe it exactly how the second half of the winter war felt, a mere blur to the eyes of many, but a lifetime for me._

 _The first thing I had felt after I defeated Aizen, was pain..._

 _The pain I felt when finally my powers began to vanish, was intense. It seemed to grow, like millions of thorny vines hiding beneath my skin, beating and throbbing to the beat of my erratic and frantic heart, cascading up from the tips of my toes through my entire body. Where it throbbed and pulsated in the back of my skull. Ripping me to pieces, only to put me back together again, just so it could do the exact same thing again._

 _Breaking me down, picking me up, only to shatter my bones over and over again._

 _It hurt, hurt worse than any stab or slash I have sustained from any other's zanpakuto, hurt worse than any bone break or injury I had in life._

 _Hurt worse than death itself._

 _Getting back to my explanation, apparently an entire month had passed since I had defeated Aizen, or so Rukia and Orihime have told me after I had finally regained consciousness. I woke up back in my room, inside Karakura Town—the real Karakura Town this time, not the fake that that weirdo, Mayuri Kurosutchi, had made to fool Aizen—and I knew right away that I had lost my Soul Reaper powers, had lost all of my spiritual pressure, and with that a meaning to life itself._

 _Rukia had told me as soon as I had woken up, was that when fully awakening one's true powers and harnessing your full fighting capabilities, your potential, it comes with great repercussions and a sacrifice on your part. Especially when you haven't yet had time to fully understand or acknowledge your zanpakuto's strength, it breaks down your entire body._

 _First stage of loss brings intense pain, loss of consciousness, and the time lapse experienced in the Dangai reverses._

 _I've experienced all three of those._

 _Next, what happens in the second stage is...The remaining spirit energy stabilizes and you wake up again, but shortly after that, all remaining spiritual pressure disappears, and you revert back into a normal human._

 _Those are the rules I guess, and I can argue all I want about how unfair and stupid those rules seemed to be, but what good would that do me if I throw a hissy-fit?_

 _Besides...I didn't have the time to get angry or scream at the world, I was saying good-bye to many of my dear friends and allies I have gained throughout the months of being a Substitute Soul Reaper. But saying good-bye to Rukia was probably the hardest thing I had to do._

 _And when I lost my sense of being wanted of being needed, and from feeling as though I have the power to protect all those around me, to feeling as though I had lost nearly everything there was in life that made my sense of belonging all the more enjoyable...I felt as though my entire life...Was ripped away from me. The will to live, just got harder._

 _I know I might sound completely selfish right now, verging on pathetic...But my soul reaper powers are what gave my life a sense of meaning, of belonging; that was my purpose in life, wasn't it? It was what I was put on earth for, right? Being able to protect those I care for...?_

 _So without those abilities...Am I really nothing in the end...?_

 _With those questions resurfacing in my raging sorrows of self-despair and hate, I felt like I was drowning._

 _A week after I had regained consciousness, a week after I gave Rukia my final farewells and saw her one last time...Well...I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore, because all I saw staring back at me was a failure._

 _Even though I had saved many lives, saved my friends lives, my family, and even though I saved Karakura Town and stole it right from the evil hands of Aizen, I just couldn't face myself knowing that I had lost, in some twisted sort of way. I have failed myself._

 _I was still here at the time, living in Karakura town, I still lived with my two younger sisters, Yuzu and Karin and my father Isshin as well. And we still lived inside that small clinic titled: "Kurosaki Clinic." And I still went to school and got high grades, and I probably would've accomplished much greater things in life because of those grades._

 _And even though I still couldn't help out my father and sister's when someone got rushed into the clinic, and even though I always found a way to get myself in trouble, and get in the way of my sister's when I do try and help them, and even with all that normalcy in my life transpiring around me, with all the things that I usually did and had come to terms with, I always thought of myself as a weak human being, something I felt I wasn't meant to be._

 _Because at the time, all I ever needed, and all I ever wanted, was to be able to save lives, to protect. And I thought; without my soul reaper abilities, without power, just what was there left for me to do? What could I do in this state?_

 _And now that I have time to reflect on that behavior and attitude, I was a pitiful case._

 _Feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to change anything, sitting there and crying about how I failed in some sort of way wasn't going to bring back any of my spiritual pressure, it wasn't going to reverse time, and it definitely wasn't making me any stronger._

 _But at the time, I had felt like I just couldn't get over that feeling. That feeling of loss._

 _There was no other way to put it when I think back to those times, there really was no other word that came to my mind, no other questions that needed to be asked. Just one word seemed to describe and to sum up everything and all that I was feeling back then..._

 _Why me?_

 _I saved lives, I protected people, and I defeated all of the enemies. All the enemies that constantly invaded the world of the living, threatened the people's lives, threatened the balance of the entire Soul Society; why was it ME that had to be the one to lose my powers? And after accomplishing all the great and wonderful things that I have done to help them? Why was it all me?_

 _And then a thought had crossed my mind, maybe I was being punished for something that I didn't even know about? And then another question resurfaced to the fore-front of my mind, will I ever hear the answers to those questions?_

 _I didn't know any better back then, and I probably will never truly know, even to this day._

 _Maybe my purpose in life was to save Karakura Town and that's all...?_

 _Or maybe...Fate had much different plans for me._

 _My name is Ichigo Kurosaki, I'm currently 18-years-old and I'm graduating high-school. I had to repeat my second year in Karakura High—but that was to be expected from all the days that I had skipped in order to do my Substitute Soul Reaper duties._

 _I have two younger sisters and a loud-ass-father, they still live in that small medical clinic inside of Karakura town, I still have those close friends I was talking about earlier and I couldn't have been more thankful and grateful for those people in my life._

 _But back then—or to be more specific, a year ago when I first lost my soul reaper abilities—I knew I had all these blessings in my life, I just couldn't help but feel that impending and hateful loneliness inside of myself._

 _I felt like I was empty. Simply passing through life without a care. And it was as though I couldn't shake the feeling away no matter how hard I had tried, I felt like it would be with me day and night, to consume me entirely..._

 _But then..._

 _On December 30th, four weeks after I lost my soul reaper powers and my sense of purpose; someone came to my aid._

 _No, I wasn't getting attacked by hollows—I couldn't sense them, let alone see them, so even if I was being attacked by hollows, I wouldn't have been able to know who my savior was._

 _And no, I wasn't being mugged by some wannabe gangsters either, someone just...Took the time out of their life to lend me an ear, and a shoulder to lean on._

 _I'll explain to you who, in a moment._

 _Yes, my burdens are still with me to this day, and yeah, I still have to deal with them on occasion on my own and in my own way and pace, and yes I have come to accept the fact that they may not ever go away, because it'll always be right there in the back of my mind, but I know now that someone can make the load a little lighter for me to carry on._

 _And this explains why I'm writing all this turmoil and shit inside my journal, I just wanted to take what little time I have left, to thank them in this letter I'm writing._

 _Or to be more specific and in a less annoying and mysterious way; I wanted to thank "him."_

 _Kisuke Urahara._

 _The one man that truly wanted to help me from the very beginning of my journey; I have friends yeah, and have a family to thank as well, but what it really comes down to, and what I really think about it, is that he was the first one to jump up and say he wanted to help._

 _You were there for me Kisuke, you have always been there come to think of it; you taught me things that no one else seemed to have known, or truly recognized within me, things that even I didn't know what the hell was about, showed me and told me thins that were going on within my head and heart._

 _And you were there for me in the end of it all._

 _And I'm probably just being paranoid right now, and I must sound completely insane right now, but I always get this weird feeling that you're right here with me, right now, even as I'm writing this._

 _I still feel like you're peeking over my shoulder, wondering what I'm writing about._

 _And damn you for always being on my mind._

 _Instead of focusing on the past all the time, I wanted to let you know...That I'm finally starting to look forward towards the future, and the only way I can do that is to talk about my exact thoughts, and about the entire experience that we had together, my exact feelings, and even though I hate talking about myself, I guess it's only the right thing for me to do at the moment._

 _I feel like...I want to re-live it again, one last time before I move on, before I keep walking forward towards my real purpose in life._

 _Kisuke...I think you're—_

 **Prologue: End.**

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 _Thank you once again for all your kind words._

 _Please keep them coming! I swear I'll get through these chapters. New and approved and all that~_

 _Take care!_


	2. Chapter 1: And Now The Days Pass By

_I would like to once again state that I am going back on these chapters and fixing them._

 _Someone kindly pointed out to me that I have a lot of grammatical errors and shit like that *waves hand*_

 _But thank you for pointing that out! I'm currently fixing up all the mistakes and everything all on my own as we speak! (because I have no beta and don't know how to acquire one) So I regret to say that it might take me a little while to get through all of them (on top of updating this story and the other story of mine on such a tiny time table as it is) but believe me when I say I'm trying my hardest! Anyways~_

 _Hope you enjoy this new and approved first chapter of Wicked Games._

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 **Chapter 1: And Now The Days Pass By.**

 _December 30th._

 _Friday._

With his bright orange hair blowing rapidly in the chilling breeze of the harsh December wind, and with his shoulders and lower back starting to ache from the stiffness of his now freezing muscles, he glances up at the luminescent moon over-head and sighs heavily under his breath.

It's happening again.

The feeling he oh-so-despised, was beginning to churn and bubble up inside of him like festering black mold. Tarnishing his insides and making him feel immobile, unable to breathe and just that much colder.

The loneliness was creeping up on him again.

Yes it was a sad, almost pitiful emotion one human being to another experiences from time to time. Made even sadder because he felt this isn't how he was supposed to be, especially not after accomplishing so many things that no other human being was capable of ever achieving.

He had defeated one of the greatest enemies, surpassed him in strength and agility (among other things) and yet in the end, he lost his Soul Reaper powers because of it.

And the question that he now always seems to be asking himself, is...Why? Why was it only him that had suffered greatly?

He knows that he shouldn't only be thinking about himself and what he had lost, because he knows full well that others have lost something dear to them as well, during the winter war, besides only just him.

But that was always the way, wasn't it? When one is alone with just their thoughts for days on end, choosing to be alone than with others, they begin to feel like scum. Choosing to stay inside for the rest of the winter days and barely going outside unless completely necessary, not wanting their friends to see the pitiful creature that they make them self out to be. Belittling their own purpose, their own life.

And there always seems to be that one question that weighed him down at night, making him feel lower than the frozen dirt under the thick blanket of snow below.

But because he has felt this way, and because he was _currently_ feeling this way, he now hates himself for it. Despises his own pathetic existence.

The emotion made him feel selfish, and he hated being selfish.

He was being a fool, he knows he's being a fool; but he just can't stop thinking this way. Torturing himself over it by not telling his most closest friends what it is that is going on inside his breaking apart mind because, why should he? Should he be telling others all the fear he feels? Should he tell his most dearest of friends that he's not sleeping anymore? That he barely eats, let alone hold down a decent meal?

He shouldn't tell the others, he doesn't want them to worry more than they already have.

He knows this empty feeling, he can live with this feeling and it was always right there in the back of his mind.

The powerlessness.

He's a now a nobody that everyone thought he was going to turn out to be.

"Damn it...!" Ichigo nearly shouts; growling in frustration as he grips his head inside both his hands, closing his eyes tightly with a muttered. "Damn it..." Slipping past his trembling lips.

Why can't he stop feeling this way? Why can't he stop thinking about it? It's been a whole month since he had lost his soul reaper powers, but it just wouldn't leave his mind!

He had thought he would get over this sense of loss, he thought he would over-come this feeling of dread and anxiety that comes with not being able to sense any more hollows or lowly spirits. But here he is standing on top of his father's house, nearly shouting to the heavens about his self-hate and loneliness.

And the feeling only intensifies worse at night, making him feel even more alone than ever. Always making him feel weak and vulnerable. He couldn't sleep anymore because of it, living off of two hours of rest each night since the disappearance of his powers. The questions that kept nagging at him day in and day out, constantly picking away inside his brain like tiny filthy fingers, trying their hardest to rip him apart and break him down until...

Until he just couldn't _feel_ anymore.

Not only did he have unanswered questions harassing at him, but dreams as well. He couldn't sleep, not without the nightmares plaguing him, and the damn nightmare was always the same each night.

He can see his father's beaten and bloody body, limp on their living room floor, barely clinging onto life as his ragged breathing slows to a halt. He can see that his little sister's are always nowhere to be found inside their home. And it doesn't matter how hard he searches for them inside his dream, he just couldn't find them anywhere. The both of them are always missing by the time he finds his father half-dead in the middle of their living room floor. While he himself, is always standing there in the middle of it all, wondering who the hell would do this to his family and why. But in each reoccurring nightmare that he has, there is always that crimson color splattered everywhere upon the walls, the floor, to the ceiling itself. Blood everywhere. In puddles, in pools, in hand-prints and holes in the walls, and yet no one around to have caused it all. No one visible, no one that he could see at least, has caused this tragedy to take place. But it wasn't the blood that freaked him out, no, it was the thought of not knowing who did it, not knowing who would do this to him, not being able to see this horrible murderer; that is what always made him feel helpless, defenseless, scared and pathetic. And in each dream, there was nothing he could do about it.

His own thoughts were driving him insane, he knows this and yet...

He just can't stop thinking. Can't stop feeling. Can't stop breathing.

With a loud wail of despair tearing through the cold December night, the teen punches the hard tiled roof and inwardly flinches at the loud noise that he hadn't meant to make.

From impact alone, he knew he had ripped open the skin of his knuckles, because no sooner had he felt the blow to the shingles of the roof, felt as it reverberated through his knuckles, he sees his blood ooze out from between his torn open skin.

He sighs harshly under his breath at the familiar pain that courses through him; it was a twisted form of relief for him. Physical pain takes him away from the mental pain, at least that's what he convinced himself to believe. Convincing himself that it would help clear his senses, even if only for a while.

He wasn't going to be one of those people who causes bodily harm upon themselves, self-inflicting wounds or other such nonsense (even though a little voice whispers in the back of his mind that that is exactly what he's doing) he knows that he's much stronger than that.

Snapping back to reality, he glances down towards his hand to see the broken skin of his knuckles slowly bleed crimson. He could see trickles of blood seeping through his fingers descending down to his wrist in a red rivulet.

He merely snorts at the wound and licks away the blood, only to spit it out not long after. He remembers the tangy taste of blood, blood reminded him of battles and the smell of blood made him feel nostalgic for the rush of adrenaline during battles.

And he'd rather not think about those days.

"Licking your wounds?"

Ichigo nearly jumps out of his skin at the voice that made itself known behind him.

Quickly he turns his head over his shoulder, with his wounded hand still held close to his mouth, to see his father standing just at the ledge of the rooftop.

Still dressed in his white doctors smock with a small smile gracing his bearded face, the man was also wearing a bright purple Hawaiian shirt with floral desgins wrapped around it, underneath the professional article of clothing.

Ichigo couldn't help but squint his eyes at his father's horrible taste in clothing as he quickly tears his eyes away. "What's up?" The teenager asks instead.

It was a simple question, but right now he really just wanted to be left alone for a while.

Ichigo looks back down to his knuckle, to see that more blood was beginning to seep out from his torn skin, and again, he licks away the blood, holding his wounded hand close to his chest to elevate it after he was done with his task.

"Ichigo, you're only going to infect the wound if you keep licking it." His father chastises with a shake of his head as he walks towards his son, who is sitting near the ledge on the other side of the roof.

Ichigo snorts at the information given to him and looks back out towards the snow filled streets of Karakura town with disinterest. "Why you up here? Were you looking for me again?" He soon growls the question.

But then sighs heavily under his breath at the edge (that even he heard) inside the tone of his voice.

Isshin Kurosaki inspects the wound that Ichigo himself has caused to his own knuckles and lightly "tsk's" under his breath with a shake of his head. "You could have broken them, son." He states acerbically.

 _'Like that really matters…'_ Ichigo thought disdainfully with a roll of his eyes before looking away from the scolding man in front of him, he thought he would get used to this new and recent epiphany that seemed to have taken over his father.

But wow, was he ever wrong.

Over the littlest things he would do, whether it stay out later than he meant to, choosing to go for walks at night, never leaving his room for hours on end only because he doesn't feel like it, or if he simply trips down a couple of steps, his father would always be there to scold him as though he was a child all over again.

He doesn't know why his father chose to act this way towards him, but he gets the distinct feeling that it came with the fact that he lost his powers.

Because he can't see his enemies anymore, his father has taken it upon himself to look out for everyone inside that home. Not only because it was a father's duty to protect his children, but because Ichigo was now powerless to stop himself from getting hurt, let alone stop the everyday dangers of household items taken place.

So in other words, his father finds him completely useless and utterly defenseless.

The orange-haired teen growls under his breath as that thought flutters through his mind and forcibly he rips his hand away from his fathers. "It's fine! I'm not bleeding anymore!" He states in exasperation as he shows his father his hand as he wiggles his fingers around for his father to see.

After reluctantly showing his father his hand, Ichigo gets up from the cold roof and walks closer to the ledge. A fierce glare directed to the ground below. "What's wrong dad?" He asks again, this time sighing in irritation. "Why are you up here?"

He loved his father yeah, he was grateful to have a father like him, able bodied and all powerful as hell. But nowadays, all Ichigo wanted from his father, was to be left alone. Instead, his dad took it upon himself to pester him with question after question every single day; questions that Ichigo himself didn't know how to answer, because he just doesn't know or what he should say, or what he should feel for that matter.

And yet, his father still kept on insisting on helping him, in anyway shape or form, but Ichigo felt like he didn't need any—or want any—help.

These are his problems to deal with, aren't they? So why can't his father just see that he needs his space and needs his own time to think about, and find the answers to the questions, himself? He needed to do things on his own, before he can even think of doing anything else or ask for advice.

But no one seems to get it.

His friends certainly didn't get it, they kept pressuring him to talk about his feelings, each and every time he shows up for school. Asking him what he thinks about all that had happened, what he is going to do from here on out, how he sees himself, what it feels like. Or the most heart-breaking questions of: "Will you get your powers back?" And Ichigo...Doesn't even know what to say.

His friends are only a constant reminder of how powerless he really is.

Ichigo sighs in contempt and drags his hands through his unruly orange locks of hair after several minutes of silence has passed. Why wasn't his father asking him his annoying questions yet?

He knows that he needs a straight and level head right now, in order to get his thoughts re-organized. But in order for him to do that, he needs space and time. But with an overbearing father and with pestering, pushy friends—he couldn't break free. He was starting to feel trapped inside his own body.

Ichigo shakes his head in derision and buries his face inside his uninjured hand, holding it over both his eyes.

Looking as though he trying his hardest not to break down and cry.

Isshin looks to his downcast son with sympathy easily detectable inside his dark brown eyes and immediately he knew the look his son had on; Ichigo was trying to shoulder this whole thing by himself, trying to carry the burden. Trying to appear strong for the sake of others.

But Isshin knew better, Ichigo can't do this on his own, not with the loss he suffered. He could already see the evident changes in his son's demeanor and especially in his appearance.

They're dark circles under Ichigo's eyes where there wasn't before, the youthful glow his bright brown eyes had carried, was now replaced instead with anguish and fear. He was beginning to lose a lot of weight and muscle tone as well, he's more lithe now because of it. His hair is getting longer, to the point where his bangs are falling right over his light brown eyes and framing both sides of his face as the length of his hair reaches down the nape of his neck. His clothes aren't exactly fitting his frame anymore. As a matter of fact, his jeans are starting to look more like sweats and his form fitting tee's are now hanging off of his body. As days go on, his son was starting to look more unhealthy and malnourished.

Isshin knew that his son was more orderly, responsible and proper than this. Ichigo was actually a very finicky and obsessive person when it came to his appearance, but it looked as though his son has lost nearly, to all, interest in everything around him.

He was also beginning to notice that his son was losing control of his emotions as well.

Ichigo used to be a casual, calm individual, only getting mad when others intentionally got on his nerves (like him for instance). And he never raised his voice, unless it was for a good reason, like his sisters needed defending etc etc. And he certainly knew that his son had more respect than this.

And it was because of those reasons, that Isshin now knew that he would have to tread carefully when it came to his son's recently developed and very unpredictable behavior.

Taking a tepid step back from his son, Isshin clears his throat to grab Ichigo's attention once again and when he has it, he wastes no time in telling Ichigo exactly what he feels.

"Ichigo...Look son, I know how you feel right now. I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself, but—"

"—But what dad?!" Ichigo suddenly snaps, finally turning around to meet his father's stunned expression.

Isshin takes another step back, but this time due to shock. His son never raised his voice against him in his life and to have his anger directed at him of all people, it startled him. Surely his own son knew better than to lose his temper with him? But with the hard glare he can clearly see inside his son's eyes, and from the stern expression on his face, Isshin knew that the calm and composed conversation he originally wanted, won't get anywhere. Not in Ichigo's current state.

Growling harshly for his father to hear, Ichigo starts shifting his eyes in different directions. Not wanting to look into his father's stunned expression.

This was the same speech his father always gave him, it never really helped in the end. His father was just trying to be sympathetic towards him, it only made him feel all that much more pathetic. His father was treating him like glass that could shatter completely if he so much as raised his voice and it was irritating as hell.

Turning his attention back to his father, the stormy set of his brown eyes never wavers. "What are you trying to come to terms with?" Ichigo states in a desperate tone of voice as he glances back down to his shoes.

His father's flinch going unnoticed.

"Are you trying to come to terms with the fact that I lost my soul reaper powers? That I'm useless again? That I am just another normal human-fucking-being?" Ichigo counters, voice rising in volume as he glares down at the roof with rage rolling off of him in waves.

He was starting to lose control of his emotions, it's frustrating him to realize this, but he couldn't do anything about it anymore. What's wrong with him? He knew he was hurting his father's feelings and his friend's feelings as well, but…

Isshin takes a step forward. Wanting so badly just to smack some sense into the boy, maybe he would, on some other occasion, but right now, words are needed to be said instead of a brawl breaking out on top of their roof.

Ichigo was pushing the people that only wanted to help him, away. It's as though his son didn't care or even stop and think about the feelings of the people around him. He was even starting to push his own family away.

Why can't he see that he's being selfish? And that he's hurting the feelings of the people around him? People that only wanted to help him...?

When Isshin knew that he had Ichigo's attention again, he gives his son a stern look that any father would be proud of as he props a hand up on his hip. "Ichigo, calm down. I know you're frustrated that all this has happened, but look at it this way, you can finally have a normal life that you deserve! You can move forward in life and—"

 _"—How?"_ Ichigo shouts, furiously turning towards his father with a hard glare, he then frustratingly gestures to the small town surrounding them. "Look around dad! You can still feel them! You can still see them, but what can I do?" Ichigo presses, hands balled into fists at his sides.

What can he do?

Ichigo growls in frustration. "Nothing! That's all I'm able to do now!" He shouts, he then lowers his gaze to the roof standing between him and his father dejectedly. "So how exactly can I move forward, when I don't even know what's out there waiting for me?" Ichigo asks in a mere whisper.

 _'What's out there, waiting to kill me? What's out there...Waiting to take the people that I care about, and kill THEM?'_ Ichigo soon shakes his head at those depressing, horrible thoughts as he looks back down towards the snow filled ground in shame. "I'm useless." He deadpans.

"You're not useless, Ichigo." His father announces firmly, voice and facial expression serious as he makes his way over to his son. Slapping an encouraging hand upon Ichigo's taut shoulder, Isshin can't help but grin. "You can't sense them, or see them, but they're people out there still ready to protect this place. Remember that."

Ichigo no sooner snarls loudly as he slaps his father's hand away from him. "You don't get it!" He shouts more furiously. "Damn it dad! I just!—" Ichigo quickly snaps his mouth shut when he meets his father's worried gaze.

Ichigo's enraged expression, soon crumples to away completely as he quickly turns around and holds his injured hand to his steadily rising and falling chest; unable to look into his dad's worried eyes much longer.

He shouldn't be losing his temper so easily, especially with his father of all people. What good would come from yelling at his own dad?

Ichigo soon sighs under his breath and looks back to his dad with an apologetic look in his chocolate brown eyes. "Never mind I said anything...I'm going for a walk. I'll see you soon, alright?" He announces dejectedly as he silently turns away and heads into the direction of the front door of the house, looking straight down at the smaller roof below.

"Ichigo!" He hears his father shout after him.

But Ichigo simply ignores his father with a shake of his head as he takes the jump down onto the smaller roof before him, right by the window to the room that the patients have access to. He lands without so much as a stumble to his step and finally he jumps down onto the ground below. The impact of the landing sends shock-waves tingling from his toes, up into his legs, but he merely grunts at the dull pain it causes as he begins walking away from their house/medical clinic.

He can't even jump down from his house anymore, not without hurting his muscles and bones.

 _'Human senses comes with human pain…'_ He furrows his eyebrows at the thought and begins striding his way down the streets.

He doesn't know where he's going; he's just willing to walk where ever his legs might take him. He buries his now frozen hands into his pockets and nuzzles deeper into the collar of his jacket as he thinks back to him and his father's little squabble on the roof.

His dad always gave him that same sort of speech, from the moment he wakes up to when he goes and lies his head down on his pillow. And the speech doesn't help at all.

Ichigo needs to help himself, but how exactly can he help himself, when he doesn't even know what to do? Or where to start for that matter?

Yes he's still in school, but he's repeating his second year because of all the down time he had while doing his substitute soul reaper duties. And even when he's in school, working his hardest to get bumped up a grade, it doesn't seem to take his mind off of anything that's happening inside him. What's happening inside his head, more like it.

Ichigo coughs lightly under his breath and buries his nose deeper into his jacket, absentmindedly noticing that the weather seems to be getting colder.

He coughs again, then sneezes shortly after. He furrows his eyebrows together at the itchy feeling inside his throat and clears it away by grumbling, he shakes his head at himself and strides faster. He can't be getting sick, he's been staying indoors for the past 4 weeks. There's just no time to be getting sick, not when he needed to get things done, but then again...He wouldn't be surprised if he was getting sick.

Considering that he hardly slept a wink for the past four weeks, so all together he rounded up the hours that he did manage to sleep and concluded that he only had 8 hours of sleep altogether.

Not only does he hardly ever sleep anymore, but he barely manages to get his food down. Eating just made him feel more sick, than better. He misses Yuzu's cooking, but ever since the nightmares starting happening, he couldn't even think about eating, not without gagging at the mere thought. And because of this new development, his entire body was starting to feel unbelievably weak because of it.

And to pile worse on top of worse, he noticed that his mind was starting to get the better of him as well. He thought he saw his mom the other day, but when he blinked his eyes in shock, the image of his mother completely disappeared from his gaze.

Hallucinations are symptoms to Insomnia, he knew that much from all the stories his father had told him. He remembers his father always telling him to go to bed early when he was a kid, and getting a regular 8 hours of sleep each night will help him not get sick.

But the thought of sleeping—the thoughts of having another nightmare—is what kept him up at night.

He just couldn't take another nightmare.

Snapping out of his thoughts when his shoes makes impact with a stray empty soda can, Ichigo finally take the time to look around at his surroundings and its then that he realizes...He just walked himself into a dead-end inside a vacant alleyway, in a part of town that he doesn't even recognize or knows.

He shakes his head at his own carelessness and just as he was about to turn around and head back home, Ichigo feels a shiver race up his spine as he clasps a hand over his mouth, he suddenly feels the over-whelming urge to vomit.

He coughs in disgust at the lingering taste of bile burning inside his throat, but as soon as he coughs to relieve him of the taste, he doubles over and goes into a coughing fit.

His hackles rise, the burning in his belly doesn't cease, his eyes start to water from the coughing fit and the urge to vomit, just becomes all too real as he bends over beside an empty trash can and begins spewing what little nourishment he had left lingering inside his stomach, out onto the side of the alleyway, staining the pure white snow below a color he'd rather not scrutinize over. He dry heaves in the cold night air as he dispels what little food he had left inside his stomach.

But he still felt the need to puke.

Coughing uncontrollably doesn't help him catch his breath either, his body begins to shake in cold and wild tremors, he nearly falls forward and into his own vomit when he suddenly felt his knees go weak. He almost buckles under from his own weight but quickly he regains his balance and just as he does, he gives another hoarse cough and a empty dry heave.

All that comes out is stomach acid and warm, disgusting tasting spit.

He gags in pure repulsion then soon gasps loudly to catch his breath. He was finally able to breathe again, but that's when he starts getting scared, because once he inhaled sharply, nothing was coming back into his lungs. No air was flowing inside his lungs, he couldn't breathe.

Great, now he was choking on his own vomit.

He throws himself towards the wall in his panic and lands with a hard crack to the side of the brick building and successfully dislodges whatever the hell it was inside his throat, with a loud and painful sounding cough.

He loudly starts to gasp and wheeze once he finally gets the oxygen flowing back inside his lungs. He takes-in huge gulps of much needed air—thankful for being able to breathe once again and slaps both his hands onto his knees to help keep him upright. He wipes the back of his hand over his mouth to relieve him of the spit still clinging to his chin.

Internally, he was hoping that his vomiting fit was over, but just as he tries to breathe in more calmly through his mouth, his vision instantly becomes blurry and he starts to see tiny black dots filling his gaze, his ears start losing the ability to hear.

 _'What's...Wrong with me?'_ He asks himself as he starts swaying back and forth in a spot.

He tries taking a step forward as he repeatedly tells himself to go home. Telling himself that he needs to go home. But as soon as he takes one step forward, it only causes him to lose his balance further.

And with his body refusing to do what his brain is constantly screaming at him that he should do, Ichigo stumbles mid-step, coughing one last time and his eyes start to close without permission.

He soon finds himself falling towards the snow. Where he lands on his side with a painful bounce, and immediately he registers the pain that explodes from the side of his head. He knew he hit his head against something hard the moment he landed, but he had no idea what he smashed it against.

And finally, all the pain, the cold, the nausea and all thoughts completely, vanish as his consciousness leaves him. He's rendered immobile and vulnerable in a heap in the snow inside the abandoned alleyway.

* * *

 _Please keep them coming! I swear I'll get through these chapters. New and approved and all that~_

 _Oh and if you still see mistakes, don't be afraid to point them out to me, just mention where, when and what chapter the mistakes are on and I'll try to remember what you're talking about and fix them up!_

 _Take care!_

 _-Hella_


	3. Chapter 2: And The Games Begin

Wicked Games.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: And The Games Begin.**

 _I see him, he's on the floor again, he's bleeding and barely breathing. Every time I go near him, he screams in agony and all I can do—all I'm able to do—is stand here and watch him suffer._

 _I can't find them. My sisters are nowhere to be found. I keep searching for them, running madly all around the house as I constantly scream both their names. I can't find them anywhere inside the house, they're little shoes are still lying on the floor at the door, it's as though they've been thrown onto the floor in haste. I know someone came into the house and kidnapped them, but who it was that came in, I don't even know._

 _But my dad is here, bloody and beaten on the living room floor. Dying._

 _My sisters are gone._

 _The house is a wreck, broken and practically in shambles all around me._

 _There's blood everywhere. Staining what little floors this house has left, the broken furniture, and smeared all the over the walls. And I wasn't able to save them, to protect them. They slipped right out from my hands like sand and I couldn't stop it from happening._

 _How could I let this happen?! How?_

Ichigo thrashes in his sleep, immediately after flinching himself awake, his bones and body scream in protest at the sudden and panicked movement. He groans in discomfort at the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and tightly he knits his eyebrows together; practically willing the sickening feeling away. The pain is everywhere, but it is most evident inside his head. Throbbing pain, that's all he can feel in his head. Pounding, throbbing, dizzying pain.

Flashesof memories start flying back at him at full speed before he even knew what hit him. He remembers walking, he had started getting sick and throwing up in a random alley way, and he remembers collapsing shortly afterward, either from exhaustion, or from the stress. And then...

 _'Then...I banged my head somewhere...'_ Ichigo thought as he furrows his eyebrow together in confusion. _'Wait...I knocked myself out, didn't I? So where am I?'_ He soon ceases all movements, body suddenly filled with the feeling of dread and adrenaline. A feeling that he knew all too well, and yet all to little; he's scared, he's never been scared in so long and now that he's a normal, powerless, human being again, the frightening emotions only intensify ten-fold. He has to be bleeding and possibly dying from blood loss by now, so there is absolutely no way he can survive this. _'I'm being paranoid, I'm fine if I'm awake...But…If I was captured, I can't help myself. Not this time...I need to open my eyes, I need to see where I am...'_ Ichigo thought in determination as a low deep rumble of a growl erupts from within his chest.

"Ichigo?" The teen hears a voice call from somewhere above him.

Ichigo suddenly refuses to open his eyes. Not because he's scared of the voice—he recognizes it—but only because he can clearly see that it's bright out, due to the fact that he could see his veins behind his eyelids, and with his head throbbing like it is, the thought of opening his eyes into a bright room made him groan in slight discomfort.

"Ichigo...Can you hear me?" Asks the voice again.

Ichigo opens his mouth and lightly coughs, immediately after coughing his throat starts to burn with the sensation. "Water..." He whispers hoarsely, his voice cracking with the pitiful plea.

If the person above, or beside him—or where ever the blue hell the voice was coming from—was kind enough to ask if he was alright, then maybe the person was kind enough to give him some much needed water?

"Here. The straw is right by your mouth." The voice announces, it's clearly a man's voice for it's rough quality, he also sounded concerned.

He couldn't help but think of his dad right away. Maybe he was back at home, maybe his father had found him in the alleyway and took him home. He knew it was a long shot though, but the sudden thought of being at home relaxed him and after taking two full swigs of water from the straw, he couldn't help but sigh in contentment at the feeling of cool liquid flowing down and through his scorching throat in a soothing fashion.

Ichigo eases his head back down onto the soft pillow behind him and hisses in slight pain when he accidentally jostles around his head injury a bit too roughly. "Where...?" He asks in a dry whisper.

"My shop. It's Urahara, Young Ichigo." The man announces, in what sounds to be a chipper tone.

Ichigo lunges up in bed after that. And instantly the lights above his bright orange-head start to burn his eyes as a wave of dizziness over-comes his senses, he starts seeing black blurs and blotches form in front of his bewildered gaze and he tightly shuts his eyes, swaying back and forth in a spot as he groans lightly at the throbbing feeling pound heavily in the back of his head and then heard inside his ears.

"Mr. Kurosaki, you just suffered a recent blow to the head. I wouldn't be surprised if you have a concussion because of it. So try not to move around too much, lest you _want to_ throw up on my nice bed spreads." Urahara states, in a lightly scolding manner as he places a helping hand on top of the boy's shaking shoulder, to help cease the boy's swaying.

Ichigo automatically stiffens at the familiar touch. For it was much too soft, too warm, almost too comforting. Carefully he shrugs his shoulder and away the hand falls. Internally he starts to hope that Urahara hadn't doesn't notice his obvious uncomfortable behavior towards touching. "How did you find me?" He asks calmly instead, lifting his hands over his eyes as he tries to block out what little light he could see behind his closed eyelids. Trying to shield himself from the lighting as much as physically possible.

The light above was beginning to give him stronger of a headache, and having to talk to the most irritating man alive on earth is only dampening his mood further.

"Were you following me?" Ichigo soon questions with a growl, fixating the hardest glare that he could muster at Urahara. Having to spread his fingers in order to accomplish that feat, but with the light still blinding his eyes—even when he so much as peeks through his fingers—he just couldn't glare as hard as he would have like to at the blonde-haired shop keeper.

The man beside him is named Kisuke Urahara, he's the man who helped him take down Aizen. They had successfully defeated him, with the help of team work that is; Ichigo using brute strength, while Kisuke instead, used the power of whit and created a powerful kido to seal away Aizen's diminishing power, successfully accomplishing that risky feat in the process. But Ichigo will never forget the fact that soon after the winter war, all the people around him—including his friends and his own family—had started treating him like a mental case. Either that, or they were treating him like he was made of glass, constantly they were tip-toeing around him and certain subjects. Not bringing up anything that had to do with the past, and further pissing him off was the fact that many of the Soul Reapers, his friends, wanting nothing to do with him.

And he didn't like it.

So for the past two weeks after losing his soul reaper powers, Ichigo cut off all ties to the outside world. He still had to go to school to face his friends yes, but when he did, he hardly said two words to them, just a simple "hello" in the morning, and "see you later" in the evening.

And Kisuke Urahara—the man sitting next to him by his bedside—was no exception to those recent behavioral developments either.

Even now Ichigo can tell that the man was trying to keep his exact thoughts a secret, although, now that he thought about it, Kisuke always kept his exact thoughts to himself. No matter what situation or predicament they were in. He would have to, once again, become accustomed to this act. The man was just one great big mystery to him, a riddle that was hard to solve and crack.

The man truly was frustration incarnate.

Urahara smirks slyly at the question offered to him by the irritated looking teenager as he covers his mouth with his fan. "I wasn't following you at all Mr. Kurosaki! I was merely on my way to your house when all of a sudden you left in a hurry!" The man goes and tells his story in a dramatic tone of voice. "So not wanting to fall behind, I took it upon myself to—"

"—you were following me." Ichigo cuts off the shop keeper in a dead set tone and successfully ending the story there with a hard voice. He covers his eyes completely once again and groans in discomfort. "The lights are too bright..." He mumbles in displeasure.

"Sorry about that." Urahara apologizes with a kind smile, which was kept hidden away behind his fan. "Ururu, can you turn off the lights please?" He asks in a pleasant tone of voice as he turns his attention to the pig-tailed hair-styled girl.

Who is standing by the doorway, holding a tray of food in both her tiny hands. The little girl nods her head and turns the lights off completely. "Better?" She asks in a small and timid tone of voice.

Urahara flashes her a white smile, before turning his attention back to the grouchy teenager sitting up in bed. Pursing his lip in displeasure, he states. "You really should rest, Ichigo." In a calmer tone of voice, one that he rarely uses towards the infuriatingly stubborn teen himself.

 _'Heh, he used my first name this time. He really must be serious.'_ Ichigo though with a shake of his head, he opens his eyes and removes the blankets from around his waist. "I should go home. My sisters must be worried about me." He starts to get up in bed.

But the hand is there once again upon his shoulder, and holding him down.

"I already gave them a call." Urahara announces with a cheery smile as he looks Ichigo dead in his surprised looking eyes. "I told your sister's last-night that you and the gang were studying at my place, and that you would be spending a night at one of your friend's places if it gets too late." Urahara explains with his fan covered over his mouth once again with his hat successfully shielded his eyes away from the light, including Ichigo's intense staring, all at once.

Ichigo sighs in displeasure and turns to face Urahara fully, a glare sent straight to the man. "I can't believe you would lie to my sisters." He deadpans. Offended that Kisuke would casually lie to his sisters. But then again, Kisuke _has_ been covering for him since he first became a soul reaper, and he was grateful for the fact that he _himself_ didn't have to lie to them. The shop keeper, instead, could tell a white lie for him, just to keep his sisters from worrying about him. But that still didn't give the man the right to lie to his family at free will.

Ichigo finally takes notice that Urahara still hasn't removed his hand from his shoulder. So he shakes the hand off by once again shrugging his shoulders.

Urahara starts to fan himself with a grin plastered over his face. "Now now, what kind of a shop keeper would I be if I lied to children?" He states animatedly. Soon his smile is wiped completely off his face as he folds his fan with a snap and points the tip directly towards Ichigo's scowling face. "And I'm afraid I can't let you leave just yet Mr. Kurosaki, not with the concussion you suffered when you collapsed." He announces with an air of authority as he gets up from the spot on the floor, dusting his green colored pants with a smile as he turns towards the door. "So rest here and I'll go make you some tea." He announces exuberantly as he makes a move towards the exit, only to be stopped when Ururu shuffles her way further inside the room as she holds out the tray of food towards him.

"I already made some tea, if Ichigo would like some...?" She asks in a tepid tone of voice as she looks down towards the orange-haired teenager.

Who is currently sitting on the floor, still holding his head in his hands and grumbling curse words silently under his breath.

Ururu bends down on both her knees beside the teen and holds out the tray. "Would you like some tea, Ichigo?" She asks lightly.

Ichigo removes his hands from his eyes and smiles small at the little girl beside his legs. He really wasn't up to eat, or drink, anything yet, but when the girl is holding the tray out towards him with a small—and completely rare—smile on her face, with hope shining inside her big blue eyes, he couldn't exactly turn down her offer.

"Sure Ururu." Ichigo easily replies as he shakily takes the tea cup in his hands and lifts the cup to his cold lips, taking a small amount of tea into his dry mouth. He soon finds himself relishing in the feeling of the warm tea cascading down his still sore throat. "This is good." He announces in surprise as he takes a larger shot out of the teacup.

Urahara smiles gratefully at the teen and heads towards the doorway. "I took the liberty of washing and drying your clothes. As a matter of fact, they should be done now!" He happily informs Ichigo. "I'll go check on them!" He exclaims with a too large smile plastered across his face as he turns towards the door, back directed to the two in the room.

Ichigo's eyes widen in shock and quickly he looks down to inspect his clothing, finally taking notice that he is dressed in pure white cotton pajamas and a green T-shirt. Clothing that he wasn't wearing the night he collapsed.

He sputters and chokes on his tea—for the fact that he doesn't remember ever dressing himself—and after catching his breath he glares heatedly at the shop keeper.

Who is nowhere to be seen at the doorway.

He growls menacingly, and half in embarrassment as he waves his fist threateningly in the air above his head. "Wake me up the next time you plan on doing my laundry! I could've gotten up and changed my own clothes myself!" He roars at the doorway. But soon he clutches desperately at his burning throat and starts coughing loudly. "Damn...!" He manages to croak out as he tries calming his breathing.

"Ichigo!" Ururu calls in concern. "You can't yell like that yet, not when your throat is still sore." She says quietly, too afraid to scold an elder, but too concerned to stay quiet.

Ichigo merely coughs more quietly under his breath as he waves his hand dismissively at the little girl. "I-I'm...F-fine, Ururu. Don't w-worry." He announces, still lightly coughing in between his sentence as he holds a hand over his weakly smiling mouth.

Ururu frowns slightly, but then nods her head all the same and places the tray of food by the foot of Ichigo's futon as she quietly gets up from the floor, dusting off her pink, spotted skirt with the movement. "I'm gonna let you rest now Ichi." She states lightly as she bows respectfully, before taking her leave.

Ichigo sighs tiredly and takes another small sip of his tea to calm the burning of his throat, before he smiles small to himself at the sweet taste as he places the cup back onto the tray beside his bed. He scowls darkly as soon as he looks down at his new choice of clothing. "Who dressed me?" He asks quietly when realization struck him.

He blushes lightly as a thought suddenly occurs to him.

Maybe it was Urahara who had dressed him while in his sleep. "That pervert..." He grumbles in embarrassment as he closes his eyes once again and lays back down on the futon.

His head is starting to hurt like hell again, and after having a measly coughing fit, it was throbbing more severely than before and with each painful throb, it made him want to close his eyes and whimper like a wounded pup.

 _'I guess it wouldn't kill me if I napped here for a while...Before going back home that is.'_ He thought as he got himself comfortable on the soft futon and wraps the blankets around his stomach.

Ready for sleep to take away his pain.

But when the thought of another nightmare flashes through his mind, and he sighs in disdain as he opens his eyes once again.

 _'I don't want to sleep anymore...'_ He thought miserably as he eases himself to roll. Sighing heavily in discomfort at the pain that it caused him on the right side of his head, where he took the blow. So now he lies on the futon on his left hand side and takes the time to glance around the room that he is currently situated in.

The walls are a light shade of orange, a tasteful looking orange color—unlike the color of his hair—with a cream colored curtain covered over the window on the wall opposite the one facing him, the light orange colored walls all around him were painted with black calligraphy, painted beautifully and well written.

When he tries squinting his eyes to depict what the walls had to say, the throbbing in his head becomes less tolerable and he hisses at the pain as he closes his eyes. Internally willing the pain away.

The thought of having Kisuke around was beginning to sound like a great idea. Anything was much better than silence.

 _'Why couldn't he just sit here and annoy me, instead of leaving me with my thoughts...?'_ Ichigo thought with a frown settling across his face.

...

Kisuke carefully slid Ichigo's clean pair of clothes onto the floor beside the teen's bright orange head as he eased himself into a standing position beside the futon, a small frown pressing across his expression as he looked down at the sleeping teenager, back facing him.

The teen could be so stubborn, even when he was injured.

Kisuke was thankful now that the teenager was asleep and resting peacefully, like he told Ichigo he should do. But Kisuke was still wary of one thing...The teen shouldn't even be sleeping yet, not after he suffered a recent blow to the head.

The shop keeper had to shake his head at the recent memory of the boy last night. Ichigo had looked so small lying on the snow in the middle of the alleyway, defenseless and completely vulnerable. If an enemy were to come along at the exact moment, he wouldn't even be lying here, still breathing. Kisuke can remember a time where the boy was the exact opposite of "weak" and "vulnerable", he seen the teenager grow to become a furious, battle hungry competitor, but after seeing the boy retching in the corner of the alley way and couldn't seem to catch his breath after that, all he was able to do was watch in pure undeniable shock as Ichigo fell to the ground, where he then hit his head on a nearby steel pipe jutting out from the broken brick wall, only one of the many that littered the alleyway, as he was then knocked unconscious.

The boy was sick. Kisuke can clearly see that much. And with the evident dark circles under his eyes, he knew right away that the boy was sleep deprived as well. He could also see that Ichigo was losing weight, and drastically at that. Ichigo went from being brawn and full of muscles, to being this lithe and lean teenager, either the orange-haired boy was refusing to eat, or he just couldn't.

Kisuke misjudged the weight of Ichigo just that night, he had almost threw the teenager right over his shoulder only because he suspected Ichigo to weigh the same weight that he had the last time. But the lithe male was surprisingly, and alarmingly light now. Hell, he could carry him with just one arm if he wanted to.

The shop keeper shakes his head a second time with a small, worry-filled-sigh escaping his lips. He was just glad that he was able to find Ichigo on time that night before something terrible happened to him. Now that he thought about it, it's been awhile since he last seen, and talked with the orange-haired teenager. He knew that Ichigo was avoiding them all, he was even avoiding his friends.

Why Ichigo had chosen to do such a thing, he could only assume that it's because of the fact that he had lost his soul reaper powers and lost all of his once strong and emanating spiritual pressure.

Maybe Ichigo just couldn't face his friends knowing that he was just a normal human being again?

Kisuke suspected that the teenager was feeling somewhat down in the dumps because of this, and that must be the reason for Ichigo's absence in the group. Ichigo just couldn't face his friends, knowing that he was powerless and couldn't protect them, even if he wanted to.

He might be right, and he might be wrong in those assumptions, but he was grateful at the moment to see Ichigo once again. After four long weeks of not seeing, or hearing, from the teenager he was just relieved to see him doing, somewhat, okay. He hadn't seen the sight of Ichigo's bright orange head in what felt like months, and he would be lying if he said he didn't miss the teenager's loud and obnoxious voice ringing all throughout his shop like a wailing siren.

He still had an inkling feeling that Ichigo didn't want to see him at the moment, though, only because he barely looked him in the eye when he woke up.

He had no idea why Ichigo had decided to avoid _him_ of all people, but he suspected it was only because they had fallen into somewhat of a role of: "master" and "student" in the past. He remembers a time where Ichigo would come over to his shop regularly, at odd hours of the night, or easly in the morning, so he could either train for hours on end, or a measly ten minutes inside his underground training facilities. But now that all the feud with Aizen was now over, and with his powers gone, Ichigo would have no reason to go and see him at his store anymore.

And at that depressing thought, Kisuke couldn't stop the disappointed frown from creasing his pale featured face. ' _He could at least drop by to say hello.'_ He thought with a pout.

When he notices the teenager stir in his sleep with a sad sounding sigh slipping past his lips, he smiles down at the boy. ' _At least he's talking to me, that's the only thing I'm grateful for.'_ Kisuke thought with a small smile directed to the peacefully sleeping teen. He then pulls his green and white striped hat down lower, to cover more securely over his grey shaded eyes, he turns swiftly on his heel, and has every intention on leaving the boy to rest, but when he hears Ichigo sigh his name, he couldn't help but stop dead in his tracks.

"Urahara..."

Said blonde-haired man slowly turns his surprised gaze back towards the teen, who is currently sleeping on his left side on a futon, with his back faced to him and curiously, Kisuke leans closer to try and in order to try and decipher just what the teenager, no, why the teenager was calling for him in the first place...But maybe...

 _'He's dreaming about me...?'_ Kisuke thought curiously, despising the hope that started to seep in through his body.

"Urahara..." He hears the teen sigh again.

Kisuke smiles deviously at the teenager and inches closer towards the sleeping boy. This was just too juicy...The teenager was dreaming about him! He only wondered now, what sort of dream was he having? "What is it...?" He whispers his reply mischievously.

"I can't rest when you keep staring at me!" Ichigo hisses loudly in annoyance as he turns and glares over his shoulder at the surprised looking shop keeper behind him.

Kisuke covers his face completely with his fan, due to embarrassment, and chuckles from behind his hiding spot. "Is this better?" He teases, still hiding his face, including his eyes as he hides the light pink now dusting across his cheeks. "I'm not staring at you anymore..." He notes quietly.

Ichigo sighs in exasperation as he shifts inside his bed. "Why are you standing there, looking at me?" Ichigo asks with irritation easily heard inside his tone as he rolls onto his back as he eases himself into a sitting position inside his futon. "Do you need something from me?" Ichigo questions suspiciously as he looks back up at the man, who is still hiding behind his fan.

 _'Oh, you don't even know...'_ Kisuke peeks from around his fan as he shakes his head with a small smile. "Just checking up on you Mr. Kurosaki. I realized that people who have suffered a blow to their head, shouldn't be sleeping so soon if they have a concussion."

"You realize this...Now?" Ichigo asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"...No..." Kisuke trails off as he sighs heavily and removes the fan from in front of his face as he sets himself down beside the teen on the floor. But when he looks down at the tray of food—which is still filled with a meal and seemingly untouched, he couldn't help but frown deeply. "You didn't eat Mr. Kurosaki." Kisuke announces sternly.

Ichigo waves his hand in dismissal. "Don't feel like eating." He replies nonchalantly as he raises his arms over his head and groans in discomfort at the dull throb he can still feel inside his temples. "My head is killing me..." He groans as he lightly rubs his orange head with both his hands and shakes his spiky hair about his head.

Kisuke averts his fascinated looking eyes down to the floor between them and focuses his gaze there.

"But the pain is almost completely gone," Ichigo announces to the man before him as he sighs lightly under his breath and cracks his knuckles with ease. "I think I'll be better within an hour or two." He states with a small twitch of a smile as he moves his head about his shoulders in order to crack a few joints back into place.

And all Kisuke could do, is look back at the tray of food solemnly as he loses himself inside his own thoughts. ' _He's malnourished...And his body is suffering because of it.'_ He thought with a small frown. _'How do I go about telling him, without raising his temper? Would he even listen to someone like me?'_

Ichigo raises an eyebrow at the unusually quiet man and peers closely at Kisuke in curiosity. "Hey, what's wrong Mr. Urahara? Usually you're more annoying than this." He states rather bluntly as he scratches behind his neck.

Kisuke blinks out of his raging thoughts and frowns at the boy sitting in front of him; feelings now hurt. "That's not nice..." He exclaims with a fake hurt expression.

Ichigo narrows his eyes further and leans towards the man, trying hard to see into the man's eyes, which are always kept hidden under the shadow of that ridiculous green and white hat. "What's going through that head of yours? Is there something you wanna tell me?" Ichigo asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in order to glare suspiciously at the shop keeper.

Who seems to be hiding something from him.

Urahara isn't the type of man that usually keeps quiet—only when it's concerning more important things is when he seems to keep his mouth shut—but it's only out of fear that he chooses to keep quiet, he can't seem to trust any one with his word. Thinking that it's safer if he kept the more important information to himself and him alone.

Ichigo suspected that that was Kisuke's way to protect the ones he cares about, to keep them away from harm. But usually it doesn't do any good.

It's good to tell people about impending danger and give them the important information that could prove reliable, have the people that he told to keep it a secret, just as a precaution for them to watch their backs. Simple as that. But Kisuke was always different in those ways. Ichigo just couldn't understand Kisuke's reasons in anything. Not even now.

"Kisuke?" Ichigo calls calmly, not wanting to lose his patience over such a trivial matter.

 _'I hardly ever use his first name...I wonder if that will get his attention?'_ Ichigo thought absentmindedly, for once actually curious about the silent man before him.

Kisuke looks up from the tray of food to meet Ichigo's determined gaze, and his breath catches almost painfully inside his throat as he stares hopelessly lost at the brightly shining, and piercing gaze directed at him from the teenager. _'He has that fire in his eyes again...'_ Kisuke thought in surprise, images start to flash through his mind, images of Ichigo battling, of Ichigo with that intense dangerous look in his eye, how his expression and demeanor would change completely and drastically at that, like a flick of a switch Ichigo would turn into this strong and fearsome competitor, fearsome in his ways and yet so graceful in battle. The teen would always hold that fire inside his eyes and it always will ignite something within Kisuke every time he saw it.

Even now, he felt a change erupt from within his chest. "Yes...Ichigo?" Kisuke finally answers, uncertainty heard inside his tone.

Ichigo wanted to question the man right away for his timid behavior, but instead, he has every intention of bringing back a certain memory from their past that had happened between them. Wanting to get his point across to Kisuke no matter what it took. He just wanted to know...A little bit about this man...

"Kisuke...Remember when I came back from the Soul Society, after I rescued Rukia from her execution?" Ichigo asks in a light voice, the fire in his eyes momentarily dying as he averts his gaze down to the futon between them.

Kisuke shakes his head with a larger than normal smile stretching across his face as he practically waves his hands in the air around him. "We don't need to talk about such times Ichigo!" He states reassuringly, trying desperately to change the subject. Trying hard to not to raise Ichigo's temper, but if they continue on with this touchy subject any longer, then surely the teenager would start getting angry. "It's a thing in the past I assure you—" He snaps his mouth shut soon after Ichigo looks up at him with that stern and serious expression directed at him as the teenager slowly shakes his orange colored head in refusal.

A silent "be quiet" was heard between them. So with a surprised expression, Kisuke keeps silent in order to let Ichigo explain himself. What is the teen trying to say...?

"I want to remind you something, Kisuke." Ichigo says almost silently. "Back when I rescued Rukia from her execution, and finally came back home..."

'~'~'~'~'

* * *

 _The lines above, indicate that a flash of a memory is about to transpire. If you know the conversation that goes on between them, props for you and you get a pat on the back and a gold star for your efforts._

 _Thanks so much for the people that favorited and are now following this story! Thanks so much you guys! I look forward to entertaining you with more chapters..._

 _Also, may I ask I stupid question? What exactly is the difference between Ichi/Hara and Ura/Ichi? I thought it was the same thing just in different positions?_

 _Is it like...Ichigo is top, and Urahara is bottom? Or does it simply mean "Ichi/Hara" is a way to explain that Ichigo, seeing as how his name comes first, is the one to confess his feelings first and chase after the man? Or no? Hah! I'm sorry for being confused about the two, I really should know better, but...I don't! XD_

 _Once again, thanks to you guys. Your awesome!_

 _-Hella_


	4. Chapter 3: And When He Gains Hope

**Chapter 3: And When He Gains Hope.**

'~'~'~'~'

Urahara couldn't turn around to face him. He couldn't and didn't want to face Ichigo Kurosaki at the moment. He was too ashamed, because he had a suspicion that Ichigo was still angry at him for not telling him the truth of why he had trained Ichigo in the first place, on why he had spent his days training Ichigo to the peak of his limits.

It was all for his own personal gain.

He didn't bother telling Ichigo the crucial and vital information that he knew about the Hogyoku. Which he himself had created and had planted inside of Rukia Kuchiki's body, as a way to keep it safe and away from potential dangers, he was, and still is, ashamed about that fact

But he knew he couldn't with-hold an apology any longer, the orange-haired teenager needed to know exactly how ashamed and awful he feels. It was awkward situation yes, because Kisuke Urahara does not apologize, nor does he open up and tell others exactly how he feels, what is running through his mind as he speaks.

But he needed Ichigo to know how he feels now, because that's the least he could do.

Kisuke looks on at the passing scenery of Karakura Town in front of him. It is the dead of night, and no one is awake. It's a beautiful night to behold indeed. But he can't stop and enjoy the scenery now, not when there is weight upon his aching shoulders. Not when there is a burden that needed to be lifted. And it all starts with him and his apology.

Kisuke averts his gaze down to his lap. "It's good to see you again, young Ichigo, I imagine by now...You heard the truth about me..." He starts, his voice heavy with shame as he continues to look down in the middle of his lap. His hands are shaking, and he has no idea why he was trembling like a terrified old woman. But he was.

Ichigo turns his attention to the bowed head of the shop keeper, who is situated near the front of the entire group as he nods his head in reply. "I have." He states truthfully, his voice hard and expression stern.

Urahara closes his eyes, his chest feeling light at such a strong and determined tone, he can easily hear inside the boy's voice. He knew that the teenager would still hold some sort of resentment towards him.

But there was no other way.

He couldn't avoid this subject any longer, he knew he couldn't, so with a heavy and silent sigh, he turns around to face the orange-haired teenager, takes his hat off with the fluid and sure motion as he turns fully around and bows his head. "Words cannot express...How sorry I am." He announces wholeheartedly as he holds his green and white striped hat over his chest.

Ichigo notices the change in his friend's behavior instantly. They were all as shocked as he was at the apology coming from Kisuke himself. He takes a moment to respond, considering that he wasn't expecting the shop keeper to bow his head and apologize to him in such a sure and honest manner.

He couldn't help but shake his head, Kisuke thought he was mad at him.

Well yes, he was pretty pissed when he heard the truth about who the blonde-haired man really was, when he first entered the Soul Society, but he had time to think about it, to think about the possible reason why Kisuke would keep his true identity—and the Hogyoku—a secret to him.

It didn't really matter to him anymore. Kisuke had his reasons, he didn't need to question him.

Ichigo scratches his head and looks away from Urahara, he didn't really expect the man to be so soft, nor did he expect Urahara to shun his pride completely and bow his head in front of him with an apology slipping past his lips.

It was nice. But unnecessary.

"Stop, it's alright. I'm not mad about it anymore." Ichigo wasn't lying about that fact. "Look, you really didn't do anything wrong. I'm not sure what your motivation was, the fact is...You helped all of us become stronger. In the end, you probably saved our lives." That wasn't a lie either. "And for that, we're thankful. So please don't apologize." He announces in complete honesty as he looks back to Kisuke's bowed head. "But I do wanna ask you one question..." Ichigo pauses in his sentence, just to see if there will be any reaction from the shop keeper, but when the man continues to keep his head bowed before him, he goes closer towards the man and peers closely at him. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth? Did you think I would get scared and run away?" He asks his voice just along the lines of anger at the last part of his sentence.

Kisuke didn't think of him as a coward...Did he...? Then the man didn't know him at all if that was his reason.

Kisuke blinks at such a question. Ichigo wanted to know the truth about why he kept it a secret? He didn't think Ichigo was a coward at all! He just had his own reason on why he didn't want to tell the teen the truth.

But why bring it up now, when the teenager was talking to him? And in such a calm-like demeanor?

Kisuke lifts his hat back over his head and stutters over his sentence. "U-Uhh..." he trails off uncertainly.

How should he go about it? With the cold hearted truth? Or a happy lie?

He lifts his head with a bright smile and waves his fan in the air beside him. "Exactly riiiight!" He announces happily.

Ichigo growls in disdain and gives the blonde-haired man a swift elbow to the jaw, hitting his target dead-on and watches as the man's blonde-head flies backwards with such a hard blow to his face.

"Now that just pisses me off..." Ichigo grumbles angrily as he turns his back to the shop keeper and crosses his arms firmly over his chest.

Kisuke groans quietly under his breath as he holds his now injured face in hand. "You were taking it so well...I wasn't expecting an elbow to the face..." He bemoans quietly.

Even with an apology, he still...Didn't have the heart to tell Ichigo his full and honest answer.

No, there was a time and a place to announce his truth to Ichigo on "why." And the time was...When he and Ichigo could talk, man to man, in the privacy of his shop, without prying eyes and nosey ears lingering around to eavesdrop.

Ichigo turns his head over his shoulder and stares at Urahara, who is now holding a hand over his jaw with a hurt expression seen in his grey colored eyes. "And another thing, I want you to apologize to Rukia when you see her, I know she'll say the same thing I said, but..." he didn't notice that his voice had dropped to a soft, almost timid tone. "Will you do that for me...?" He asks, just as he turns around completely and faces Urahara with a blazing determination seen in his bright brown eyes.

 _'Such a strong look...Such truth in his words...Such emotion...'_ Kisuke thought, looking at Ichigo with just as serious as an expression as the teenager has on. He nods his head in agreement not too soon after. "Yes." He answers truthfully.

If the teenager ever brought up such serious subjects again, then yes, he would answer Ichigo's questions the best he could.

That he swore, to himself that night.

'~'~'~'~'

The room goes silent after Ichigo's story of the past.

He and Urahara had this same particular conversation back many months ago, and he needed to know something now, he wanted to know the reason "why." Why Urahara insists on keeping his thoughts a secret to him. And the many others around him.

Ichigo leans closer towards the man, wanting to slap the hat right off his head and demand to see the man's eyes, just so he can see the truth, or the possible lie, that Urahara will most likely spew forth from his idiotically lying mouth, but Ichigo keeps himself calm and composed.

"Why are you being so silent? What's going on...?" The orange-haired teenager asks, his voice full of concern, but also confusion.

The man was never silent, only when he wanted to cover something up as a way to protect the people around him.

But it didn't work in the past. So why would he think that it would work now?

Kisuke looks directly into Ichigo's eyes as he slides his hat off his head. "I'm...Troubled, with something." Kisuke announces, hearing his own reluctance inside his tone at the incredibly awkward situation he himself has thrust into the conversation.

Ichigo shifts under the gaze of the shop keeper and sits directly in front of him, crossing his legs over the other. "What's troubling you? Is something happening to Karakura Town?" Ichigo asks, desperation leaking through his words, despite wanting to keep a composed personage.

Kisuke shakes his head at the question. "Nothing is happening inside of Karakura. Everything is right as rain Mr. Kurosaki." Kisuke replies with a small smile.

Ichigo felt a chill run down his spine at the serene looking smile. _'He seems so different with his hat off...'_ Ichigo thought in slight surprise.

Kisuke drops the lighthearted smile as he glances down to his lap, before flicking his grey eyes back to Ichigo before him. "But...I am...Currently worried about a certain situation, which might be proving to be out of my control, so to speak." He announces, gesturing with his hands all the while.

Ichigo holds up his hand. "Whoa, wait Urahara, I can't understand what you're trying to explain if you keep—"

"—I'm worried about you." Kisuke rushes through his sentence with a monotone voice.

Ichigo's eyes widen in shock as he leans away from the man in front of him. "What?" He harshly whispers out in surprise. _'Why the hell would he be so worried about me? Nothing is wrong with—'_ Then Ichigo's eyes narrow in disdain as he growls under his breath at such a timid looking shop keeper sitting before him. "You're worried about me. You think there's something wrong with me because I've been avoiding my friends. Everyone should just butt out and leave me the hell alone once in a while!" He shouts angrily as he quickly gets up from the floor and storms over towards the door. "Maybe then I'll finally—"

A hand at his wrist stops him from leaving in a huff—and from tongue lashing Urahara out the door.

And Ichigo stiffens at the hand, but growls menacingly all the same as he tries to shake the hand away from his wrist. "Let go Urahara!" He nearly snarls at the man.

"Ichigo, just hear me out." Kisuke tries to reason, voice calm. "I'm sorry for grabbing you, but I just want to explain something."

"Explain what?!" Ichigo shouts, turning around and facing the man with a hard glare.

"I want to _help_ you." Kisuke deadpans, voice serious as he looks calmly down at the seething orange-haired teenager.

Ichigo's body goes numb at the strong and determined gaze that he can clearly see inside the man's grey eyes, which are reflecting back at him. Almost instantly, Ichigo didn't feel the need to hit the man, he just wanted to fall to the floor and continue to look Urahara in his eyes just because of how powerful that gaze alone was. It was compelling him to do something…Out of character.

He also knew that the man was speaking the truth, Urahara merely wanted to help him. But how can he help him, when Ichigo himself doesn't even know what's troubling him? What could the both of them do to make any of his emotions, his thoughts, his fears, and make them disappear and leave his mind completely like dust in the wind?

Ichigo shakes his head as he looks down at the wooden floor boards at their feet, no longer able to look the man in the eye. "You can't help me..." Ichigo trails off, voice just barely along the lines of a mere whisper as he takes a step back, he lightly bangs his back against the door behind him when he tries to put distance between him and the shop keeper.

The man made him even more nervous when he decided to take a step closer towards him.

"I-I…Don't even know how to deal with it _myself_." Ichigo's voice drops to an ashamed whisper as he closes his eyes tightly, hands balling into fist at his sides as he presses his back flush against the door behind him.

Kisuke can feel the tension inside Ichigo's wrist, which is still held firmly inside his own hand as he flicks his eyes back to the downcast looking teenager standing before him, he takes a step closer towards Ichigo and sees that the teenager is shutting his eyes tightly, as though he was trying hard to keep a straight and level-head. "If you explain it to me, I swear I'll try my best to help you." Kisuke announces calmly, his free hand reaching towards Ichigo's face, but he quickly drops his hand when he sees Ichigo shaking his head.

When he shook his orange-head in disagreement, the action almost made him dizzy once again, considering that the bump on his head won't leave him any time soon within just a course of one night.

Ichigo opens his eyes to stare directly at Urahara, who seems closer than what he remembers from in front of him at the door. "I should go—" Ichigo tries to say as he glances away from Kisuke.

"—Tea." Kisuke was quick to interject with a bright smile taking over his once serious facial expression.

Ichigo looks back up at the man and wrinkles his brow in confusion. "What?"

"Tea." Kisuke repeats, maneuvering around the confused looking teenager and tugging lightly at the wrist still held in his hand as he slides open the door. "I'll go make some tea, and if you sit down and join me. In exchange, I'll let you in on a bit of information." Kisuke states, completely serious as he throws a smile over his shoulder, before continuing on down the hallway, tugging a reluctant Ichigo behind him all the while.

"W-wait! Urahara!" Ichigo nearly shouts in embarrassment as he stumbles on his feet. "Can't I get dressed first?" He says with a light blush staining across his cheeks.

He only continues to get hauled around by the wrist, by the blonde-haired shop keeper.

...

"So, what type of information are we talking about, Urahara?" Ichigo asks, now fully dressed in his own clothes and sipping lightly on his tea, he sighs under his breath at the soothing warmth it creates inside of his sore throat as he gently places the cup back onto the table in front of him.

He still has a bit of a cough, but whatever Kisuke was putting inside his tea, it seems to be doing the trick to relieve him of the scratch and annoying itch inside his throat.

Not to mention his headache all but disappeared completely, now all the remains is a bit of a bump on the right hand side of his head, and a horrid memory of him puking his guts out in an alleyway.

Kisuke sighs in pure bliss at his overly-sweetened tea and places the cup delicately back on the small round table sitting in front of both him and Ichigo with a smile. "Well don't you go straight to the point?" Kisuke teases coyly. Only for the smile to be wiped away completely by the hard scowl he receives from the orange-haired teenager seated across from him. "Okay..." He clears his throat. "I noticed that I have left quite a bit of information out, on a particular subject."

Ichigo furrows his eyebrows together. "And that subject is...?" He trails off, gesturing for Urahara to carry on.

Kisuke smiles brightly and points his fan directly to the middle of his chest. "Me!" He sings happily.

Ichigo groans aloud and bangs his head in the middle of his arms.

"That wasn't the reaction I was expecting..." Kisuke says quietly, holding his fan to his chin.

Ichigo shakes his head and holds his chin in the center of his palm. "I'm sorry, it's just that whenever you talk about...Well, _you_ ," He says, pointing at the smiling man across from him. "You act differently."

Kisuke quirks an eyebrow. "How so?"

"You get more...Annoyingly happy." Ichigo says, shrugging his shoulder nonchalantly. "It's forced, and it bothers me. I know you're trying to be strong for the sake that you don't want to let other people know what exactly is going through your mind, but if it's just between you and me. Then it'll just stay between you and me. So trust me damn it." Ichigo states, voice serious as he narrows his eyes at Kisuke. "Because it'll stay just between me and you at all times. I won't go blabbing to the whole damn world about it." Ichigo scowls.

Kisuke's eyes widen at that particularly harsh-yet-true speech and quickly he finds himself nodding his head at the teenager's request all too readily. "I'll take that into consideration. Thank you Mr. Kurosaki." He says, once again schooling his expression.

"One more thing." Ichigo interjects sternly, watching in satisfaction as Kisuke nods his head obediently. "If it's just me and you sitting here, than just call me by my first name. None of this _'Mr. Kurosaki'_ crap, and I'll call you Kisuke from now on." Ichigo suggests as he takes another sip from his tea.

But when he receives no answer from the man across from him, he scowls darkly and points directly at Kisuke's face. "Deal?" He presses more firmly.

Kisuke nods quickly in agreement. "Deal. Now, shall I go on explaining?" He asks pleasantly calm, when he receives a nod from Ichigo to carry on, he does so with a small smile. "Well, a long time ago—and this is before I joined the 13 court guard squads by the way—I created the Hogyoku in hopes that my experiment would help—in some sort of way—the soul society. To help lift and bring out the true potential in soul reapers, a human weapon if you will. But after experimenting with it for such a long time, and during every experiment it had failed to meet my expectations, I decided then that it needed to be hidden, in case a foe—or maybe even a friend—tried getting their hands on it. If they did, only great terror and misfortune would fall upon the lives of many, and threaten all of mankind entirely."

"Then why would you create such a thing in the first place?" Ichigo interjects, raising an eyebrow as he folds his arms over his chest. "And why not just destroy the Hogyoku, if it had failed all of your experiments?" Ichigo asks, leaning against the table for support as he cups his chin in his hand as he gets himself more comfortable on the floor.

Kisuke merely smiles sadly at the question as he places his fan on top of the table. "Simple. I didn't know how to destroy it, once I created it, I knew it would be nearly impossible to destroy the thing. So I created a seal instead, to block the powers and seal it away completely, at least until I had enough knowledge and the right equipment to destroy it. But during that process, I realized I needed an actual soul reaper to help me in that feat to seal it away. And so..." He trails off, meeting Ichigo's inquisitive eyes.

"You chose Rukia as its host." Ichigo finishes as he props his elbows on the table.

Kisuke nods. "Exactly. But now that I think about it...Maybe I did something terrible...?" Kisuke trails off, scratching meekly behind his head. "And this thought has been weighing upon my shoulders ever since then...Maybe I was the one...Who caused this whole thing with Rukia's execution, the war with Aizen, and caused all the troubles that had transpired in your life...To unfold…?" Kisuke announces, voice heavy. "Maybe...This whole thing is my fault?" He states, voice slowly trailing off as he stares solemnly down at the table in front of him, his hat covered over his eyes completely, shrouding his true emotion away under the shadows.

"Idiot." Ichigo deadpans, causing Kisuke to flinch from in front of him. Sighing heavily, Ichigo scratches his head. "Look, it isn't your fault. You tried to destroy it, but you didn't have the equipment at the time, and Aizen was the one plotting this whole thing from the start. He bent and twisted all the rules and used the people around him, with the help from his Zanpakuto. He had total control over everything, but you knew exactly what he was planning and you did the best you could in order to help save Karakura Town, and the entire Soul Society really." Ichigo states, voice serious as he places both his hands on his crossed knees as he looks directly at Kisuke's expressionless face. "So don't go taking the entire blame. Aizen is the deceitful bastard, and you helped me in the end. That's all the matters now."

"But...Ichi—gah!" Kisuke barely had time to even say the teen's name when he got a swift punch to the nose by Ichigo himself.

"I said don't take the blame!" Ichigo threatens, holding up his fist. "You had no idea that Aizen was plotting the whole damn thing the second he became a soul reaper! And maybe he's been planning it before he was a soul reaper..." Ichigo trails off, suddenly unsure, but then shakes his bandaged head wildly about. "But anyways! You had no idea that he was experimenting on creating a similar weapon like the Hogyoku. So shut up about it already, and stop taking the blame for other people's decisions, and move on." Ichigo announces sternly, holding his fist close to the man's jaw as he leans heavily onto the table. "Or I'll hit you harder and knock some more sense into you." He threatens dangerously, eyes narrowing to a heated glare.

Kisuke holds his nose in his hand with his hat disheveled upon his head, which thus reveals his eyes from underneath the shadows, and blinks up in surprise at Ichigo's speech. He then smiles warmly at the disgruntled looking teenager, who is now sitting closer with him at the table. "Please, no more knocking sense into me. I already felt the wrath of your elbow." He chuckles, causing the teen to smirk lazily at him. Kisuke shifts his hat neater upon his head, but choosing to keep his eyes revealed as he lays his hand upon the table. "Ichigo...Can I ask you one question?"

Ichigo quirks an eyebrow at the timid tone of voice from Kisuke and plants his empty tea cup on the table after finishing the rest of its soothing contents. "Go ahead."

"How do you feel? How do you feel...Knowing you lost your soul reaper powers?" Kisuke asks, voice now serious as he locks eyes with Ichigo.

Who gulps nervously at the gaze as he drops his eyes to the floor, it wasn't the question that unnerved him, it was Kisuke's unwavering gaze. "My dad always asks me that question. My friends always try to help me too, but they persist and pressure me with questions that I don't even know how answer...That they only make me realize...I'm more powerless." Ichigo states, eyes empty as he stares at the floor between them. "And they make me realize, I can't protect them even if I wanted to..."

"But what about your father?"

Ichigo raises his head with confusion easily seen in his expression. "My dad? What about him?"

"What does your dad think of all this? Doesn't he try and help you?"

Ichigo shakes his head, his mildly long hair flying about around his orange colored head, but then he nods soon after, with a frustrated sounding sigh escaping his scowling lips. "Yes and no. He tries to help me, but he always uses the same speech on me, it goes: _'Ichigo, I know you're frustrated son, and I know you lost something very important to you, but you need to move forward in life,'_ and all that fatherly crap. It just doesn't seem to help me though..." Ichigo trails off, eyes once again looking down to the floor. Feeling the empty loneliness creeping inside of him once again, fully knowing that no one else could feel like he feels, no one that could relate to him.

"How does it make you feel when he says these things?"

"Useless..." Ichigo announces shamefully. "It makes me feel so useless that he thinks I'm just this one great big mental case, that needs looking after and constant supervision, that it frustrates me and makes me ask 'why can't people just see that I need time to think things through on my own?'" Ichigo states in irritation as he pinches the bridge of his nose inside his hand with a deep and heavy sigh.

"So what are you looking for, in someone?" Kisuke asks. "If you don't want them worrying about you, what do you want people to say to you?"

"Just...I don't know..." Ichigo trails off, closing his eyes momentarily before looking at his hands. "...Normality?" Ichigo asks, mostly to himself with a wrinkled brow. "Is 'normality' even a word?" He asks Kisuke as he finally looks up, to see the man with his hat off completely and staring deeply into his eyes.

It causes his skin to break out in uncomfortable prickles and goose-bumps. His heart fluttering all the while.

"Just a normal conversation, about everyday things. Do you think that will help you get over this powerlessness you feel inside yourself?" Kisuke asks, folding his arms over his chest as he tilts his head to the side.

Ichigo scowls down at the floor in thought, but then shakes his head. "No...It won't help."

"So it brings me to the question of: why not let the people around you at least speak their minds about this situation, and just go on from there?" Kisuke suggests, clearing his throat before carrying on with his explanation when Ichigo looks up at him with confusion. "You don't have to take heed in the advice that they give you, but you can at least let them get it all out of their systems, as a way for them to cope with the situation, and for you to get your head straight." Kisuke states, leaning over to plant a reassuring hand on Ichigo's slender shoulder with a smile. "Because even they don't know what they should do about it, Ichigo. Just let them vent. And that way, when they finally have everything out in the open, you can go about with your own proceedings?" He suggests with a rare, sincere smile as he gently gives Ichigo's slender-than-normal-shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Ichigo couldn't pry his eyes away from the strong steel grey eyes of Kisuke Urahara, who is still intently looking into his own eyes with his hand upon his shoulder, giving him a small rare smile. Gracing his expression and giving him more of a youthful glow. Ichigo hadn't realized, until now, just how strong and wise Kisuke is, or could be. He never really thought about Kisuke being the sensitive, shoulder to lean on, type of person.

But looks can be deceiving, and Ichigo felt mildly bad that he hadn't even thought of going to Kisuke in the first place for some much needed advice. He never even thought of the shop keeper as being someone more to him, than just his trainer. He hadn't even thought of Kisuke as being one of his friends actually.

But now, reflecting on just what exactly Kisuke had said, it's exactly what he had told Kisuke to do just moments ago.

In one way or another, Kisuke was actually the person he could relate to. Kisuke was the only one to ever really sit down and help him, talk to him, man to man, face to face. And it was refreshing.

Admiring almost.

Ichigo smiles generously at Kisuke as he takes Kisuke's hand inside his own and gently places the shop keepers hand onto the table as he gets up from the floor. "Thank you Kisuke, you gave me the inspiration I needed to get through this thing." Ichigo says with a weak smile. "I should go home now. Thanks for helping me...Thanks for everything really." Ichigo gratefully replies wholeheartedly as he nervously scratches his cheek and shifts his gaze from the floor back to Kisuke.

Kisuke merely places his hat upon his head and fans himself with a bright smile. "Why not at all Ichigo! Just another day in the life of Kisuke Urahara!"

Ichigo shakes his head with a lazy smile. "Well, I'll see you later then Kisuke." Ichigo announces as he walks towards the front door of Kisuke's candy store and lays a hand upon the handle.

"Oh, and Ichigo?" He hears Kisuke call from behind him.

Peeking over his shoulder at the grinning man behind him, Ichigo raises a suspicious eyebrow. "What is it?" He answers at length.

"Nice boxers. Strawberries really suit you." Kisuke chuckles madly as he breaks out into a guffaw at the bright red blush staining across Ichigo's scowling face.

"You pervert!" Ichigo shouts over his shoulder as he quickly makes a mad dash out the doors and down the streets, blushing madly all the while.

* * *

 _Thank you so much for following this story of mine! Seriously guys, snaps for you._

 _Remember these lines: ( '~'~'~'~' ) indicate a flash of memory. Sorry if there was any confusion._

 _Also, I hate this chapter, but I worked on it so many times in the past that I...Just kinda gave up on changing it, I hope you still like it...?_

 _Nothing much else to say except...Sorry for the wait...? Yeah?_

 _-Hella_


	5. Chapter 4: And Then He Carries On

**Chapter 4: And Then He Carries On.**

Ichigo lies in bed, restless as the night before and the weeks before that as he stares straight up at the ceiling above with a scowl pressed across his face.

He still had his fears running through his body; constantly they are in the back of his mind, looking for a weakness within himself so they could pour over and fill his entire body with terror and anxiety. Ichigo kept reminding himself that they were just dreams. Nightmares more like it, and they would never become real, because his father wouldn't ever allow that happen to his sisters, or to himself. His dad was a strong man, he still _is_ a strong man, and he would gladly put his life on the line, _twice_ , just to protect his children.

But the seventeen-year-old couldn't help but feel the impending fear that would grip his head like a vice, he didn't want to sleep alone anymore because of it, and with Kon gone—doing God only knows what with his stuffed animal body—he didn't have anyone to distract him from his thoughts.

He rolls over and onto his right side in bed, hissing lightly at the bump being jostled about and soon relaxes into his pillow as he stares out of the window inside his bedroom. He stares up at the moon in the night sky overhead and sighs wistfully at the sight.

Lately the moon has been out, and whenever he happened to look up, the moon was always right there with him. And each time, he enjoyed the sight.

He coughs lightly under his breath and holds a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. Everyone was asleep inside his house, his sisters were fast asleep in their room, and his father is sleeping in the room furthest from his, in the very last room to the left of the hallway. He knew his father won't wake up for the dead, not tonight at least, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't keep quiet.

That afternoon, when Ichigo had decided to go home after talking with Kisuke Urahara for nearly two hours straight, he came home to find that the Kurosaki Clinic was horribly, and unusually, quite busy. His father and sisters were running to and fro trying to get the patients calm and relaxed, trying to get the medical supplies ready and prepped, and trying to get their big brother to stay out of the way each time he so much as passed them by. So he knew that his entire family was beat after a long and busy day of helping people.

He sighs under his breath and covers his eyes with his arm. _'My family is helping people...And what am I doing...? Going to school, and that's all.'_ Ichigo thought in disdain.

His thoughts then drift over to his friends.

Uryu is still doing his Quincy training, when he takes a break from training, he does menial jobs at his father's hospital. Orihime is helping Tatsuki with her own training, and the two girls are putting both their strengths together and helping around Karakura Town to defeat what little Hollows that come lingering too close into town, and Chad, well, he didn't know what Chad was doing, but Ichigo had heard that he was training to become stronger as well.

And as for his friends in the Soul Society, he didn't know what they were doing anymore. Considering he hadn't seen them in two months. And even if he heard word about them, he would have to hear it from either Orihime, or the others, and besides, he didn't even want to hear about them from anyone. As far as they're concerned, it didn't matter what they were doing.

He can't even sense low spirits, let alone see them, so if Rukia was to stop in and check up on him now, he wouldn't even be able to say two words to her.

 _'I'm always focusing on the things I can't do...What about the things I can do..?'_ He wrinkles his eyebrows in concentration.

He's a seventeen-year-old male, he's strong and athletic, he could go into sports if he really wanted to. But the thought of doing sports just made him depressed, like he was trying to be what he was forced _not to_ be. He could use his mind, he could dive into books and strive to become a doctor, like his father, so he can help people. He always wanted to help people, so that is still on the table to take into consideration.

But what he really wanted to do...Was become a Soul Reaper. The feeling was and still is, strong within him.

He sighs heavily in frustration, _'I always do that, run around in a mental circle that I'm never really going anywhere with my own thoughts. I never really seem to think about anything else either.'_ He frowns at his own idiotic behavior and grasps his head in his hands, but soon hisses in pain when he jostles the bump on his head carelessly. Quickly he takes his hands away with a scowl and chuckles humorlessly at himself. _'Ichigo Kurosaki, hero of Karakura Town, gets knocked unconscious by having a coughing fit.'_ He merely shakes his head at his own thoughts and sits up in bed. Suddenly deciding that "sleep" was far from his list of things to do.

He gets up from bed, throws the blankets off of his legs and plants his bare feet on the side of his bed to walk towards his window. He opens the window by sliding it sideways and curiously he leans himself out onto his windowsill to test the weather. The wind is cold and it breezes right through his thin white and blue T-shirt easily as it then ghosts over his bare arms. He shivers lightly and folds his arms over his chest to keep what little warmth he has to cling to it.

He looks down towards the snow filled ground below and watches as his breath glide through the crisp night air, where it soon disappears without a trace. He looks up towards the moon again, when suddenly a memory flashes through his mind.

He was just a child at the time, but he always often wondered what it felt like to be on the moon looking down at the earth.

The thought to him now seemed completely ridiculous, considering the moon is thousands of miles away, maybe even further from the earth, and there is absolutely no way he could possibly see civilization from the distance of the moon to the earth.

But even then he remembers reaching towards the moon from where he stood now, when he was merely a child.

In light of that sudden memory, he reaches forward with his arm towards the bright white orb in the clear night sky and he notices in slight fascination at how his hand, at the right angle, almost looked as though he really was grasping the moon with his hand, but just as he tries balling his hand into a fist to fully grab hold of it, it slips pass his fingers, and is still seen shining brightly in the sky over head and out of reach entirely.

He tiptoes further from the spot on the floor, and with his fingertips, he reaches forward almost desperately.

Just then, and in what seemed like a blink of his eye, a hand is reaching out at that exact moment.

With wide startled eyes, he sees the hand ghost over his own.

He suddenly pulls back in shock at the feel of cool fingertips touching his own and holds his hand to his chest with widened eyes. When he looks back to where he thought he seen the hand, nothing was to be seen in front of his startled gaze.

No one was there reaching towards him, and no one was there in front of his window.

 _'What the hell...?'_ He thought, now suddenly and unbelievably curious, he reaches forward again, stretching his arm out as far as it can and waits for several minutes. His arm practically freezing off as he waits for the hand to reach for him again, but nothing happens. He was only getting frost bite.

He sighs heavily and drops his arm from his reach. He knew he saw something, or rather someone, reaching for him, he felt it, well…At least he thought he felt it.

He shakes his head and closes the window soon after. "I'm just tired." He says simply as he walks back to bed and get himself comfortable once again. Practically wishing for a good night's rest, without being plagued by damn nightmares.

...

"Ichigooo!"

The orange-haired teen sits upright in bed with a fast lurch at the sound of his sisters voice calling for him, but when he looks down at the floor and he sees no blood, and no foot prints residing in the blood, he looks to the window and notices that its daylight.

This wasn't a nightmare that is happening, but real life, a brand new day.

And with startling realization, he notices that he had slept through the entire night without so much as a nightmare filling his night with terror and restless sleep.

He smiles in triumph at himself and with practiced ease, he rises out of bed, does his morning routine stretches, fixes his bed, and goes to get his school uniform ready.

And without missing a beat, he's dressed and proceeding downstairs with a chipper hop in his step, but when he hears loud thumping and stomping coming steadily from behind him, he sighs under his breath in exasperation and ducks the predictable punch that was aimed directly for the back of his head.

He slides his leg over the floor, trips the crazy lunatic trying to attack him first thing in the morning, and grabs hold of the white collar in his hand and tosses his father over his shoulder.

He watches as his dad falls down the last few remaining steps of the stairs, and watches with a scowl on his face as his father lands with a hard flop to the floor, right on his head and then lands face first onto the floor below with a grunt of pain.

"Good morning, Ichigo!" Greets his younger sister Yuzu from the bottom of the stairs, popping her out from around the corner, wearing her usual apron around her slender waist with a frying pan and spatula held inside her tiny hands, as she peeks her eyes down at her father, who is laid out flat on the floor at her feet, her small smile is wiped completely off her face and is replaced instead with a scolding expression. "Dad! You know that Ichigo doesn't like it when you attack him first thing in the morning!" She chastises as she holds the spatula in her hand and shakes the cooking utensil at her father's head. "You should apologize!" She commands with her small hand on her hip.

Ichigo waves his hand dismissively. "Never mind him Yuzu." He states as he walks over his father to give his sister a pat on her head. "Good morning." He greets with a warm smile shot down to Yuzu, before he flicks his eyes back to his fallen father. "... _Dad_." He grumbles his last greeting as he steps on his father and digs his heel hard into his back, he then makes his way to the kitchen table, grumbling all the while.

"Urrgh...Morning son." His father's muffled voice says from within the floor.

Ichigo walks to the table and plops himself down in front of his other younger sister, and twin to the other, Karin.

"Morning Ichi." Karin says in her usual gruff voice as she slurps loudly from her cup.

"Mornin'." Ichigo mumbles as he yawns loudly. Taking a shot out of his orange juice that is waiting for him at his side of the table, which is situated beside a plate of freshly baked pancakes, he peers closely at the pastry. That's when he notices strawberry slices within the batter. "Strawberry?" He quips. "Are you experimenting with food again, Yuzu?" He asks skeptically as he pokes his fork into the soft pancake.

It looks good, but as he told himself, looks can be deceiving.

Yuzu nods her head enthusiastically as she hops to the chair beside her twin sister. "Yep! I decided to mix the strawberries in the batter with a bit of honey. I hope you guys like it...?" She asks timidly as she peeks at two of her siblings.

Ichigo cuts himself a piece, pours syrup on his slice, and bites it off his fork. He swallows after chewing the flaky and warm pancake bit not a minute later.

"Well, he isn't gagging and choking to death on the floor." Karin mumbles.

"Karin!" Yuzu whines.

"So I take it…It's good?" Karin asks her brother with a cocked eyebrow. Readying her fork in her hand, just in case Ichigo had any complaints about Yuzu's home cooked breakfast.

Ichigo nods his head with a bright smile lighting his face. "It's really good, thanks Yuzu. I think I found a new favorite for breakfast." He says in complete honesty as he dives into his food with vigor.

Yuzu peeks over towards Karin, to see her sharing the same knowing look with her. And right then and there, they knew that their older brother was back again. They didn't need to pester him with their usual morning speeches.

So with a grin of pure delight, Yuzu starts eating her own meal with happy and content silence filling the room.

"Isn't somebody going to help me up...?" Asks Isshin from the floor.

"No." All three answer in unison as they continue eating their meal.

...

Ichigo looks up from his shoes and the passing sidewalk below, to stare at the intimidating looking building before him.

School.

He groans instantly at the sight and walks to his impending doom.

Boredom.

"Ichigo!"

Said teen turns to look over his shoulder, to see Orihime Inoue, his bubbly—fellow orange-haired—friend walking towards him at the school gate. Dragging beside her is the bespectacled, raven-haired teenager named Uryu Ishida, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere, than clutched by the arm and forcibly getting hauled around by Orihime, who is the one keeping his arm hostage beside him.

Ichigo waves his arm over his brightly colored head as he stops to wait for his friends. He raises an eyebrow up at Chad—whose real name is _actually_ Yatsutora Sado—who is currently holding a stack of books in one arm, and holding a backpack in the other behind the connected duo.

"W'sup guys?" Ichigo slurs as he shoulders his own book bag over his shoulder.

Orihime smiles brightly as she hops to Ichigo's side, pulling along a helpless Uryu with her. "Good morning Ichigo! How are you feeling today?" She asks instantly. She knew from first glance that the teenager looked to be in better spirits today.

And that to her, was a much better improvement than what she saw in Ichigo's unpredictable behavior before. Ichigo actually waited for them this time in front of the school, instead of ducking his head and saying a fast "hello" before leaving them behind and then ignoring them all day long.

She didn't like the change in Ichigo's behavior at all. She thought that he always looked lonely, and sad. And that expression to see on one of her favorite people's faces was heart wrenching, and no matter how hard she tried, and no matter how hard they all tried, they couldn't help Ichigo and make him more...Well, Ichigo.

But now she saw it, the light in his warm brown eyes, and the emotion seen within them, Ichigo was back again. She had her Ichigo back.

And hopefully, he would be here to stay for a long time.

Ichigo shrugs his shoulders carelessly as they head down towards the front doors of Karakura High. "Normal. Crazy dad attacked me first thing in the morning, Yuzu cooked breakfast, and Karin was being a little jerk." He states with a scowl, before shrugging his shoulder. "Normal." He affirmed.

"That's great!" Orihime nearly shouts from beside him, causing Ichigo to flinch. "Sorry!" She quickly apologizes as she covers her mouth with her hand. "My morning started off weird, first I was cooking my famous Terriyaki chicken with mushroom sauce and goat cheese on top, but when I turned on the oven, it completely—"

And Ichigo tuned out her usual morning ramblings.

Considering he was still too tired to even focus on such a speedy and rapid conversation that tended to spew forth from her happy-go-lucky mouth. He would nod occasionally though, just to make it seem as though he was listening, pretend that's he's not doing the exact opposite that he's doing now, and not listening to her constant babble at all.

"Hey, Ichigo."

Ichigo blinks out of his meaningless thoughts and looks at Chad.

Who had made his way over to his side in the hallway.

"Hey Chad, what's up?" Ichigo asks curiously.

"Good to see you better." The giant teenager announces in his usual gruff and stern tone of voice as he gives the orange-haired teenager a thumbs up and a twitch of a smile.

Ichigo nods his head with his own lazy smile taking hold of his features as they head down to each of their classroom doors.

 _'They didn't assault me with questions like they usually do...'_ Ichigo thought in realization, he was glad for the change. But he just wondered now, what brought about this kind of behaviour?

...

Ichigo has come to realize that he's starting to tune out everything around him, more so than usual. He hardly listened to two words the teacher, Ms. Yamigawa, had instructed that morning, he hardly listened to the idle chit-chat Orihime and the group had discussed over lunch time, and he barely noticed the people around him, were actually talking to him.

He acknowledged their presence, in his own way, by nodding at them and occasionally talking to them about meaningless things, everyday hum drum kind of things from time to time. But after the conversation was said and done, he would soon find himself zoning out more often than usual.

And he couldn't quite figure out the reason why. Maybe he was just bored...Or maybe...

Something was nagging at the back of his mind.

Nothing unusual about that nowadays, but his thoughts didn't have anything to do about the fact that he's a normal human being again, or the fact that he feels an emptiness inside himself that no one can fill. It's something entirely different plaguing his mind. Even he can't figure out what it was that was bothering him. And it was frustrating as hell not being able to put them into words and talk about it to someone who was willing to listen.

He looks to the clock over-head of the teacher, and sighs under his breath. The day seemed as though it was dragging on forever, and all he wanted to do at the moment was listen to music, and head somewhere, to some place, anywhere.

But where exactly he wanted to go, even he had no idea. He merely had this itch inside his body and bones telling him that he needed to do something; go anywhere, do anything.

Ichigo looks out of the window beside him, and almost jumps out of his seat when he sees a very familiar figure standing outside the school grounds, waving his hand frantically over his bright blonde head, with a larger-than-normal smile plastered across his lightly stubbled face.

Kisuke Urahara was looking right at him, waving his arms about him in a happy manner as he gesticulated wildly to attract his attention.

Well, the shop keeper has his attention now, and boy was he going to get it when Ichigo got a hold of him.

Ichigo looks away from the window with a scowl pressed firm as he raises his arm in the air, cutting off Ms. Yamigawa in her lecture of...Erm, well...He cuts her off in the middle of her teaching anyways. Something that Ichigo had no idea what she was talking about.

Because he wasn't even listening to her talk anymore.

Ms. Yamigawa raises her eyebrows at the orange-haired teenager, who is named Ichigo Kurosaki, who had his arm raised over his oddly colored head for her attention. "Yes? What is it Mr. Kurosaki?" She asks politely.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" He asks simply. Rolling his eyes at the predictable snickering of the students around him.

"Can't you wait until I'm done teaching, Ichigo?" She asks sternly, raising her pencil towards him in a threatening manner.

Ichigo merely purses his lip in displeasure and shakes his head. "No. I was already holding it in when I walked in here." He lies. It was an embarrassing lie yes, but one that could get the teacher to sympathize with him.

Plus no teacher can force a student to sit in their classroom for a long amount of time, especially when they needed to use the rest room.

Ms. Yamigawa sighs dramatically and nods her head. "You may go. But if I don't see you back here in exactly 10 minutes, there will be extra assignments for you to take home. Considering you had to repeat your second year here, Mr. Kurosaki." She states in a serious tone of voice as she lightly 'tsks' the boy under her breath.

The boy who was now walking towards the door beside her in a swift manner. "Yes Ma'am." Ichigo deadpans, steadily striding his way to and out the door in less than 30 seconds after he was excused.

Once out of ear-shot of the classroom door, he quickly breaks out in a run down the hallways, zigzagging around many of the sharp corners, turns, and bolts it down the stairs.

Inside a different classroom, Chad peeks over his shoulder and looks out the window beside him, to see Mr. Urahara being dragged by the arm by a furious looking Ichigo. He hums lowly at the sight and turns his attention back to the teacher.

 _'Since when did Ichigo start hanging out with Mr. Urahara?'_ He thought in confusion, and since when has Ichigo started acting like his normal self again? What exactly made Ichigo want to change in the first place?

Back outside the school, Ichigo pulls and pushes the weirdo shop keeper by his arm. Finally—and when he knew that they were out of sight of the students inside the school completely—he throws the man to the wall and scowls deeply down at him.

He has to scowl down at Kisuke, because the clumsy blonde-haired man had tripped over his own sandal clog and landed ass first onto the hard cement of the school's equipment building below his shoes.

The equipment building is situated all the way in the back of the school, down a flight of stairs, taking a quick right hand turn, and that is where the track and field equipment is held.

Which wasn't much of a building at all, but it looked more like a small brick shack. But it was out of view of the windows and the nosy students, so Ichigo knew he made the right choice when he decided to drag the giggling shop keeper by the arm all the way there.

Ichigo takes a step towards the man. "What're you doing here, hat-and-clogs?" Ichigo demands unsympathetically as he folds his arms over his chest, glaring harshly down at Urahara with a growl slipping past his lips.

Kisuke merely puts his hands up in mock surrender as he unfolds his fan with a flash of a smile as he starts to fan himself down below the teenager's shoes. "I was merely checking up on you, Mr. Kurosaki." He states pleasantly, still fanning himself.

"You're following me again, aren't you?" Ichigo growls in offence as he quickly lunges down to grab hold of the shop keepers collar in his hands.

Kisuke smiles brightly up at the angry looking teen. "Not at all Mr. Kurosaki!" He announces desperately, a bead of sweat licking the side of his nervously sweating face as he pokes Ichigo's hand—which is held tightly on his collar at the moment—with his index finger. "I just wanted to see if my favorite student was doing well in school today." He grins in delight.

Ichigo felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. "What is this _'student'_ crap?" Ichigo asks, lowering his voice dangerously.

Kisuke merely tilts his head to the side with a curious expression. "Oh? Don't you remember all the times I helped you train, back in my underground facilities?" Kisuke asks, inwardly smirking at the small twitch he felt inside Ichigo's grip. "I'm the master, and you're my student!" He announces happily.

And getting a good left hook from the angry teen because of it.

"I'm outta here." Ichigo deadpans as he turns around, about to head back to class with his fist held close to his side.

"Ichigo!"

The orange-haired teen stops mid-stride and curses his legs straight to hell for making him stop in his journey back to class.

Ichigo soon sighs heavily in exasperation as he turns back around to face Urahara. "What?" He barks.

Kisuke merely looks at him with a sly smile as he gestures for the teen to come closer, which was to beckon Ichigo towards him with his finger.

Ichigo shivers at the creepy gesture and quickly stomps his way back to the sitting figure of Kisuke as he squats down in front of him, scowl still seen on his face. "Don't you ever do that again, if you want to keep your finger, and what is it?" He hisses to the shop keeper.

Who only smirks as he lifts his fan to Ichigo's amusing scowling expression as he tilts his blonde-head to the side. "Are you doing anything today?" He asks.

Ichigo wrinkles his brow at the sudden question as he chooses to sit down directly at Kisuke's feet. "No. Why? Is something wrong?" He asks as he slaps a hand down to his knee.

"No, no! Not at all!" Kisuke shakes his head with a sad sigh slipping past his frowning lips. "You worry wart," He mumbles soon after, but then he smiles happily at the teenager.

Who is starting to visibly twitch in frustration in front of him.

"You think too much of the possible dangers in life Mr. Kurosaki! So I decided to take the precious time out of my life to go out and enjoy the day with you!" He announces enthusiastically.

Before the expression completely shatters away as a devious smirk then takes over his once happily smiling visage. He lowers his voice slyly. "Unless, you're too afraid to do even _that…?_ " The blonde-haired male mocks.

Ichigo growls lowly inside his throat as he folds his arms over his chest. "What do you have in mind? I'm not a coward, tell me anything." He states in defiance.

Kisuke leans closer towards the boy, and instantly the boy leans back. Inwardly he had to smirk when he happened to notice the very light blush that stained across the boy's scowling face.

 _"Anythiiiing?"_ Kisuke purrs at the implication behind the boy's innocent sounding words.

Ichigo's light shudder goes unnoticed by the shop keeper as he continues to announce his plans.

"Well, I was thinking of going back to my place for some tea. But if you're up for _anythiiiing_ , I guess we can go to a bar and—"

"—I'm not going to a bar." Ichigo deadpans, quickly holding out a hand to decline the offer with a stern expression. "Let's just go to your place. I'm done school in three more hours, so I'll meet you back at your place." He announces as he pushes himself off of the cement and dusts off his grey colored uniform pants.

But when he notices—and with mild curiosity—that Kisuke is still smiling up at him expectantly, he sighs heavily in frustration as he slaps a hand to his pocket. "What do you want now?" He nearly groans in exasperation at the mere look he can clearly see inside the shop keepers grey eyes—eyes which were revealed to him when he nearly shook the stupid out of Urahara.

Kisuke simply waves his hand in a dismissive manner as a light and breezy chuckle slips past his smirking lips. "I was merely wondering if you would like to skip school right about...Mmm..." He trails off, finger pressed to his chin in thought. "Now...?" He suggests with a wicked smile as he looks back to a surprised looking Ichigo. "Maybe we can go get something to eat?" He asks with a small tilt of his blonde-head.

Ichigo stumbles in shock. _'This sounds like a date!'_ He thought in disbelief. He then peers closely at the man below him and narrows his light brown eyes with suspicion. "What's going on with you Kisuke? You never asked anyone else to join you to do something." He states with obvious skepticism—and suspicion—heard in his voice. "And you're asking me to skip class." He grumbles in displeasure as he shakes his head in disapproval. _'Some role-model...'_ He thought with a deep frown.

Kisuke merely rolls his eyes in passion as he snaps his fan shut. "If you're going to be suspicious every time I do one simple thing for you, than you can go back to class if you want and—"

"—I wasn't saying no." Ichigo was quick to interject as he holds out his hand towards Kisuke, but then quickly slaps it back down to his leg in embarrassment. "I-I only meant that...Well..." He scratches his cheek nervously as he averts his eyes down to the cement at his feet. "We never really hung out before, I'm just wondering...Why the change now?" He asks timidly.

Kisuke gives the nervous teenager a small smile. "Because I want to start hanging out with you. It seems as though I have a change of heart for you." He states happily as he lifts himself off from the ground and starts patting down his dark green pants.

Ichigo's eyes immediately go wide in shock and quickly he hides his blushing face behind his arm. "Wha-what does that mean!?" Ichigo stutters in embarrassment.

Kisuke "tsk's" Ichigo loudly and smacks his fan over the teen's orange-head. "Now, now, don't go jumping to conclusions and flatter yourself." He states with a roll of his eyes.

 _'Although, it is rather adorable to see you become flustered over such a trivial thing Mr. Kurosaki.'_ Kisuke thought deviously.

"I'm just saying that I had a change of heart towards you, as it seems that I no longer look at you as an annoying teenager, but now look at you as a young adult. Who only needs a bit of a break from life. Kind of like me." Kisuke announces with a smile, before he tilts his head to the side in curiosity. "Would you like to join me, Ichigo?" He asks again, his tone no longer teasing.

Kisuke had a suspicion that Ichigo would reject his request on the spot—only because the teenager was supposed to be in class as they speak—because the teenager was still in a bit of a rut in his life. Nothing was going to change that fact overnight.

But it seemed like, and in Kisuke's analytic eyes, that the teenager looked like he needed a break. And if Kisuke's assumptions were right, then he would gladly give the teenager the break that he needs.

Whatever shape or form.

Ichigo looks towards the school building, which is situated just in front of them from where they stood in the back of the school grounds, and sighs under his breath in defeat.

Yeah, he really didn't feel like going back to school now. He wanted a break, he felt like he needed to do something while in class, so why not be bored somewhere else, and with someone else?

"Where do you wanna go eat?" Ichigo simply asks as he looks back to Kisuke.

Who is smiling in triumph from behind his fan. "Why not go to a restaurant that serves pancakes?" Kisuke asks happily.

Ichigo felt his scowl leave his face completely as it stats to fall into a sardonic type of stare. "A...Breakfast...Restaurant?" Ichigo slowly pronounces in confusion.

Kisuke merely nods his head with a smile as he waves his fan in the air. "I always walk by this adorable little breakfast place, close down the street by my shop, and it seems like such a nice place to simply sit, chat and enjoy the day." He adds as he turns and begins walking ahead of the teenager without further explanation, his black kimono rustling in the wind behind him.

Ichigo looks back to the school, and with very little reluctance, turns and begins following behind Kisuke. "Well, whatever. Any place will be good."

"Perfect!" Kisuke sings. "But before we go, let's drop by my place. I need to do something first."

Ichigo raises an eyebrow and jogs faster in order to walk along beside the blonde-haired shop keeper. "What? Like get your wallet? Cause I have mon—"

"—I would never ask you to take the bill!" Kisuke interjects dramatically, as though he was offended at such an idea occurring to Ichigo. "But no, that's not it." He states secretively.

Ichigo shakes his head with a small smile. "Whatever Kisuke! I'm just trusting your word right now." He exclaims, slapping the shop keeper hard on his back.

* * *

 _Just friendly Kisuke and Ichigo banter, as friends, for now...But as we progress, things will start heating up between them and when that time comes, I assure you I'll warn you, including up the rating to "M."_

 _Restaurant_ _scene in the next chapter, plus some touchy feely crap, hurt/comfort type of shit. I think it's called "Fluff" so...Look forward to THAT! XD_

 _I would totally love some feedback guys! And if you have a question to ask I'll answer it as soon as I can._


	6. Chapter 5 And He Finds A New Perspective

_Thank you for the encouraging reviews. If you find any grammar mistakes or anything of the sort I'm sorry. i'm in a terrible rush right now._

* * *

 **Chapter 5: And He Finds A New Perspective.**

Ichigo cups his chin in his hand and lightly runs one fingertip over the rim of his empty tea cup, which is currently sitting before him at the table inside Urahara's Shop. He sighs lightly under his breath and continues to run his finger around the lip of the cup in slow moving circles.

 _'Damn it Kisuke...When you said you had to do 'something,' I thought you meant an "in and out as fast as I can" type of thing. But instead, you're making me wait here, alone, and feeling awkward with nothing to do.'_ He states begrudgingly inside his head, a frown creasing his youthful features.

"Alriiiighty!" Ichigo can hear Kisuke sing from down the hallway.

"Now I'm ready." The blonde-haired man announces as he walks to the front door of his shop and opens the sliding door without a moments hesitation, but when he notices that Ichigo is still sitting at the table and not following behind him to the door, he furrows his eyebrows together and turns around to face the teen with easily detectable confusion written on his expression.

"Well, aren't you joining me?" The man asks, slightly frowning with a hand still held on the door.

Ichigo could only stare. No words could be said, no scratch that, no words were _forming_ inside his head.

Because thanks to Kisuke, it seems that the man had just successfully beaten what was left of his brain cells, to death, by the choice of clothing the man is now currently wearing.

They weren't awful or ridiculous looking clothing—like his usual get-up he chose to wear—but the clothes the blonde-haired man is wearing now...Well, Ichigo could only _stare_.

Gone was his usual dark green and black ensemble. The man now had on a forest green blazer, covered over a plain black dress shirt, and paired off with matching black jeans and a set of sneakers, sneakers that brought the out-fit together in a casual sort of way.

It seemed as though, and to Ichigo's admiring eyes, that the man had style that he rarely showed to others. And now, with startling realization, he was graced with the chance to see Kisuke dressed to impress.

Kisuke began to wish that he had kept his hat on—like he wanted to do—at that very moment, because with the way Ichigo is staring at him, rather intently might he add, it's as though the teen was undressing him with just his eyes. He wanted to keep his embarrassment and his self-conscious emotions hidden away inside himself at that very moment, but with his fan gone and his hat all but forgotten about inside his room, he was left to stand there in an uncomfortable situation with nothing to hide behind.

Kisuke kicks the toe of his sneaker on the floor as he flicks his eyes to and fro on the many things around himself. "You keep staring…Mr. Kurosaki..." He slowly announces, a little embarrassment trickling inside his tone as he hides his face behind a curtain of blonde hair.

Ichigo snaps out of his thoughts as he shakes his head fast, blinking his eyes numerous of times in order to focus more clearly on his surroundings. "I-I'm...I never..." He soon groans aloud in self-loathing, after stammering like an idiot in front of the blonde-haired man—who just wouldn't stop his nervous fidgeting as he blushes lightly for his eyes to easily see.

"Gaah! Kisuke!" Ichigo shouts in frustration as he gets up from the spot at the table, gesturing to a shocked looking shop keeper. "Your clothes! You look...Well you look..." He trails off uncertainly as he scratches his head in thought.

How should he compliment another man without sounding...Questionable...?

"Funny? Odd?" Kisuke tries to finish Ichigo's rather frustrated sounding sentence as he looks down at his clothes. "Old?" He adds, quirking an eyebrow up at the teen.

Who shakes his head with a heavy sigh. "You look normal." He states impassively, only to wrinkle his nose at the pathetic sounding compliment as he slaps a hand to his hip. "I wish I had a camera." He quips unthinkingly as he begins slapping down his pockets, making sure that he had his wallet and maybe even his cell phone in order to take Kisuke's picture. As weird as that is...

Kisuke turns his head away when he feels a blush slowly edging its way across his face, for the umpteenth time that day. "W-why?" He stammers anxiously, fidgeting with his cane held tightly inside his hand as he quickly turns around to face the door in front of him.

"To take a picture of you." Ichigo easily replies. "Just to show everyone how cool you can look, when you're not wearing your usual get-up." He states with a teasing smile, but when he finds no cell phone in his pockets he shrugs his shoulders uncaringly and walks over to Kisuke to plant a hand upon his green clad shoulder. "Well? Weren't we going somewhere? Or did you change your mind?" Ichigo asks as he looks curiously at the silent shop keeper.

Kisuke merely shakes his head and averts his eyes to the floor at his feet, blush still tinging his cheeks. "Let's get going, I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy their pancakes!" He states enthusiastically as he throws open his front door with vigor and begins walking out of his shop, in toe with a whistling Ichigo at his side.

He couldn't look the teenager in his eyes at the moment, the embarrassment and self-conscious emotions were still evident inside his eyes and he knows it. Because he can still feel them lingering inside his body.

Ichigo had just been boldly admiring his appearance and wasn't hiding the fact that he was. Kisuke could still see the look Ichigo had on his expression if he closed his eyes. That look of pure shock, shameless appreciation, and awe. All those emotions were easily detectable inside those warm, light brown eyes; it left his heart feeling light and his insides filled with butterflies.

 _'Oh God...I'm turning into a school girl.'_ Kisuke thought, inwardly groaning at his own reaction as he felt the incredibly strong urge to bang his head against something impeccably hard for his own stupidity.

...

Ichigo looks around at the quaint little restaurant to admire the craftsmanship and details of the interior designs on the walls and the ceiling. Down to the booths, and to the tables themselves; everything was painted rather tastefully that it didn't even look like a mere pancake restaurant but a five-star restaurant instead.

Even the carpeting in the back of the place was beautiful, a lush deep color of red with golden colored zigzagging designs over the front. The floor in the front of the restaurant was tiled black and white in marble stone, but in the middle of the place the floor changes to carpeting, and as you continue walking to the very back, the style of the carpeting changes yet again. What an odd but tastefully styled place.

"Er, Ichigo?"

Ichigo quickly looks up, to realize he's been standing in a spot for one minute too long, simply staring down at the carpet, as though it was the most greatest thing in the world to behold.

Quickly Ichigo thanks the waiter that had ushered him and Kisuke to their quiet and secluded booth in the back, and with speed that shocked even himself, he sat down at the booth with a plop and a single bounce inside of the red cushions.

Kisuke also turns to thank the waiter as well and soon after he asks the man if he could see what the menu holds for the stronger, more adult-like, drinks. When the waiter replies with a sure sounding: "I'll go find the menu now sir." With a deep elegant bow directed at him, Kisuke then takes a seat across from the fidgety 17-year-old and raises an eyebrow at the unusually silent Ichigo.

"Are you okay Mr. Kurosaki? You seemed to have blanked out half-way into the restaurant." He notes aloud with a small smirk.

Ichigo shakes his head with a sigh as he props his elbow up on the table and stares at the small lamp overhead. "I just got lost in thought, I guess. I've never been to a place like this before. To be honest, this doesn't really seem like a breakfast restaurant at all. It looks more…Expensive." Ichigo comments as he looks around at the tastefully decorated restaurant once more to admire the interior designs.

"That's because it isn't." Kisuke announces nonchalantly.

Ichigo furrows his eyebrows in confusion as he looks around the restaurant once again, this time out of surprise. "Then what kind of place is this?" He whispers harshly as he peeks around the corner of their secluded two-people-booth in suspicion.

Was he just dragged into a bar without his knowing?

Kisuke merely chuckles under his breath as he gestures beside himself. "Can't you tell? It's a steak house." He smiles.

"What?" Ichigo nearly shouts in surprise. He points to his clothing with a deep scowl. "I came in here, dressed like _this!"_ He gestures to his school uniform once again. "Because I thought we were going to a pancake house! Not some freakin'—"

"—Uhm, excuse me, sir?"

Ichigo turns his attention to the waiter beside him and snaps his mouth shut when he notices the waiter's timid demeanor. "Y-yeah? I mean! Yes?" He asks more politely, a forced smile straining his expression. Inwardly the teenager was scowling in disdain, because he just so happens to hear Kisuke chuckling across from him at that very moment.

The waiter simply smiles small and holds a menu out towards Ichigo. To which the teenager responds to the gesture is by quickly snatching away with menu with a hurried "thank you."

Being used to such behavior and attitude directed towards him, the waiter doesn't miss a beat. "The special today is Saba Shioyaki served with a side of Sunomono, and the soup of the day is Miso." He announces politely as he stands straight and holds out another, smaller menu, towards the man with the shaggy blonde-hair. "This is the wine menu sir. Unfortunately the restaurant only serves wine here sir, but if you like I could ask for a bottle of imported liquor?" The young gentleman of a waiter asks generously.

Kisuke tilts his head to the side in thought. "And how much is this, imported liquor?"

Ichigo shakes his head fast, getting both the waiter and Kisuke's attention. "Too much." He deadpans sternly.

The waiter merely chuckles the answer away as he nods his head. "I shouldn't be saying this but, yes, it is rather expensive. At least for me. I would have to sell my apartment in order to buy a single bottle." He whispers in secrecy, hand cupped around his mouth with a timid looking smile.

Kisuke chuckles at the waiter and hands back the wine menu with a smile. "I'll get the Lambrusco, considering it's _cheaper_." He whispers back with a wink.

The waiter nods his head and jots down the wine order in a small black notebook. "And are you two ready to order? Or would you like for me to come back later?" He asks politely as he looks between the two odd couple.

One man looked like he belonged inside the restaurant, what with his jacket and neatly styled choice of clothing. While the teenager on the other hand, looked as though he was ready for school. Now that he thought about it, the teen should've still been in school.

Kisuke looks towards Ichigo with a small smile. "Are you ready to order?" He asks politely.

Ichigo looks at the confusing menu and shakes his head a moment later. "I'm still trying to decide on whether I should get the Nikujaga, or just go ahead with the special...?" He hums lowly in thought as he places his hand to his chin as he narrows his eyes at the menu before him.

Kisuke merely smiles at the waiter and nods his head. "I think we'll like another few minutes or so to mull over our orders."

The waiter nods. "Yes sir. I'll go get you the wine momentarily...And..." He trails off, quirking an eyebrow down at the teenager, before looking back to the man with the blonde-hair. "Does he drink?" He asks lightly.

Ichigo and Kisuke shake their heads in unison.

"I'm too young."

"He's too stiff." Came both of their answers.

The waiter merely smiles with a nod of his head. "All right then, well, I'll be back with your wine, Mr...?" He trails off, unsure of the man's actual name.

"Oh, it's Urahara, Kisuke Urahara." The man replies with a flash of a white smile.

The waiter smiles brightly at the man and bows again. "Nice to meet you Mr. Urahara. And would you like anything to drink, sir?" He asks the orange-haired teenager, who looks up at him and shakes his head.

"No thanks, I'll just have water." Ichigo replies as he looks back down at the menu in his hands.

The waiter then nods and finally he takes his leave, walking away from their table with quick and hurried strides towards the other end of the restaurant towards the bar.

"You're friendly."

Kisuke blinks at the sudden comment from the teen and wrinkles his eyebrows together in confusion. "Friendly?" He repeats with a small smile, unsure if that's what he really said.

Ichigo nods from behind his menu. "You have this calm and like-able attitude out in public. Where does that go when you're around the others?" He asks in a serious tone of voice as he finally puts the menu down onto the table and looks directly at the man sitting across from him with a curious glimmer reflecting inside his eyes.

Kisuke took a moment longer to admire the curious and positively endearing gaze coming from Ichigo, before he looks down at the menu sitting on the table in front of him with feigning interest and a fake smirk. "What do you mean, Mr. Kurosaki? Am I not always polite to you and your friends?"

Ichigo shakes his head with a small frown. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm just asking if you've always been this way."

"And what way is that?"

"Casual, calm...And I don't know..." Ichigo looks back to the man, who is now looking at him from the corner of his steel grey eyes with interest. _"Smooth...?"_ He asks, mostly to himself in confusion.

"I'm smooth?" Kisuke smirks in delight. "I didn't know that. I wonder if it works on cute girls?" He asks with a devious hint in his tone.

Ichigo grumbles inaudible words as he lays his head on the table. "And now you're back to being the perverted shop keeper..." He mumbles with a frown.

Kisuke merely laughs away the remark with a nod of his head. "I am a pervert, aren't I?" He laughs unabashed.

Ichigo couldn't help it, considering he never heard Kisuke laugh before in all the months they knew each other, but he starts to laugh as well, his shoulders shaking from his quiet laughter as he finally peels his head off of the table to smile amusingly at Kisuke's chuckling.

"You really are." The teen confirms with a nod of his head and a teasing grin.

Kisuke suddenly leans closer towards the boy across from him, noticing how the teenager timidly backs away with a light shade of pink dusting across his cheeks, and gives the nervous looking Ichigo a playful wink of his eye. "You have no idea, Ichigo." He states in a low purr.

Which causes Ichigo to give a worried and audible gulp as he averts his widened eyes to the table sitting between them.

Kisuke smirks in pure pleasure. Glad that he has the boy's attention. "Because…" He intentionally trails off, his voice never dropping from that lascivious purr. Much to Ichigo's chagrin. Kisuke then grins widely as he points a finger up in the air in triumph. "I might've been the first one to see you in a pair of your under—"

Ichigo quickly lurches out of his seat and over the table top to swiftly shield the shop keepers idiotically smiling mouth with both his hands with a mortified expression. Ichigo hisses. "Shut up and now." Dangerously down at the shop keeper as he glares heatedly into Kisuke's mirth-filled eyes.

Which the man only closes with a smile and a tilt of his head; a warming smile that is kept hidden underneath Ichigo's hands.

Ichigo could only blush at the sight before him. Until he finally takes his hands away from the mouth underneath his hands with an annoyed sounding huff and a mumbled. "Pervert..." As he grumbles and plucks the menu back into his hands, expertly blocking Kisuke's view of his embarrassingly flushed face.

 _'I can't believe I ditched school for this...'_ Ichigo thought, pouting beyond the menu held close to his flushed face. Ichigo's heart soon drops to his stomach at such a thought suddenly occurring to him. _'This looks like a date...'_ He blushes brighter as he furiously shakes his head in denial at his own terrible choice of words. ' _It's not a date. Kisuke wanted to come here. He tricked me into believing that this was some ordinary pancake house, that turned out to be a fancy restaurant, and now I have no choice but to wait it out and see what happens next.'_ Ichigo slid the glass of water towards him and took a small sip. _'What's going to happen from here...?'_ He thought in confusion and slight dread.

What was Kisuke's reason for wanting to be here with him? To be his friend?

Or is there something...Else…?

"Kisuke...?" Ichigo calls nervously, hating himself for sounding so timid and shy. He quickly clears his throat and takes a larger swig from his water, hoping to gain a bit more courage with the shot.

Kisuke liked the shy tone in Ichigo's voice, really brought out the nervous and easily embarrassed individual, that Ichigo never wanted to show in front of anyone. He hums his reply to the teenager a second later as he cradles his chin inside his hand, feigning nonchalance.

"Uhm...Why did you want me here? Is there another reason why you took me out?" Ichigo asks, hiding behind his menu for dear life as he scowls deeply at himself.

Kisuke blinks at those curious sounding questions and tilts his head to the side, trying to peek underneath the teenager's menu. The menu that he's currently holding up to his nose, as a way for him to shield his face.

He sighs at his futile attempt and shakes his head. "Ichigo...I only wanted to take you here so we can stop worrying about the stuff that's happening around us, and just enjoy life for the moment. Without having to worry about everything, anything, and everyone." He states truthfully as he slowly reaches over towards the menu hiding Ichigo's face, and eases it down with a smile directed at the blushing image of the teenager before him.

The teenager, who is averting his gaze and looking at everything, but at him, with blush tinging the tips of his ears in embarrassment.

Kisuke smiles warmly at the image. "So don't worry about a thing, young Ichigo," He suggests. "Because right now, we're here to just enjoy the day that is given to us. Nothing more, and nothing less. So quit worrying already, and just go with what your thoughts have to say." Kisuke encourages lightly as he smiles kindly at Ichigo.

Who finally peels his eyes away from the table in front of them, to meet Kisuke's unwavering gaze timidly, eyes slightly rounded in what looks to be surprise. "Why—"

"—Ahem."

Both men flinch at the sound of a very indiscreet cough as they turn their attentions towards the waiter that is now holding a clean wine glass in one hand, and a cool perspiring bottle of Lambrusco in the other.

With a small nervous smile, the waiter slightly bows his head. "I'm truly sorry for interrupting." He apologizes. "I just wanted to leave the bottle here and…" He trails off, biting his lip in worry as he nervously starts pouring the wine into the glass.

Kisuke eases himself back into his seat with a grin. "No problem." He easily replies as he takes the full glass of wine in his hand and takes a sip of his alcoholic beverage with a pleasant sounding sigh. "This is great." He compliments as he stares into the glass. "It's a dry wine, but has enough sweetness to it that it doesn't leave my tongue feeling bitter. Thank you." Kisuke states, nodding his head towards the waiter in show of gratitude.

The waiter then bows deeply. "You're welcome sir, now, are you two ready to order?" He asks happily as he ready's his pen and notebook in his hands.

Kisuke nods. "We are. I'm getting the triple decker buttered pancakes with whipped cream on top and strawberries on the side." He announces happily with a grin as he points towards Ichigo. "And you?" He asks, smirking at the incredulous expression on the teenager's face.

Ichigo soon schools his surprised expression with a low rumbling growl as he hands back the menu towards the waiter. "Give me the blueberry pancakes instead." He states with a stern nod of his head. "And no strawberries on mine." He deadpans.

The waiter looks down at the two men with an odd look to his expression and looks between the two nervously. When he first came in and interrupted their little "love nest", so to speak, they looked as though they were ready to start ripping each others clothes off right then and there, but no here they sat, staring directly at each other daringly and a bit dangerously.

As though this entire thing between them, was merely all a game. Watching who would snap first and crumble under the intense gaze.

The waiter jots down their orders without missing a beat and smiles kindly at the two as he gives another deep bow before excusing himself from their table. 'They're so weird...' The waiter thought with a frown as he turns his back to the odd couple and begins striding away.

"Why did you order the pancakes?" Ichigo asks, narrowing his eyes at the innocently smiling shop keeper as soon as the waiter was out of ear-shot.

"I told you before, I always wanted to try their pancakes. I had a feeling that I would like them, so why not try them?" Kisuke easily replies with a tilt of his head. "Why did you order the pancakes?" He asks coyly, leaning towards the youth with a devious smirk as he bridges his hands together and rests his stubbled chin on the back of them. "You could've ordered anything, and yet, pancakes is what you wanted." He smiles slyly. "Afraid of eating a big meal in front of me on our _first date?_ " He teases unabashedly.

Ichigo splutters on his water loudly and slams the glass down onto the table as he begins banging on his chest multiple times to try and dislodge the water from his windpipe, staring wide eyed at the smirking shop keeper seated across. "Y-you!" He chokes out, holding a hand over his mouth to stifle out the choking noises as he glares heatedly at Kisuke. "D-date?" He stammers out, finally able to breathe once again. "You ordered something cheap! So why not help you out on the bill by getting something else that's cheap? And just so you know! This is not a date!" Ichigo whispers harshly.

"You think that I'm stingy with my money?" Kisuke asks, faking a hurt expression. Intentionally ignoring Ichigo's little quip of "this is not a date" with ease. "You are mean Ichigo Kurosaki." He states with a small pout.

Ichigo glares heatedly at the blonde-haired man and crosses his arms over his chest. "This coming from a man who raises his prices on nearly _everything_ inside his store." Ichigo counters in frustration. "You nearly made Rukia pay for almost—" He shuts his mouth from there as his heart starts to throb painfully inside his chest.

Kisuke's eyes widen slightly at the teenagers sudden slip of the tongue.

Ichigo was suddenly filled with a strange emotion, he was ashamed at the casual way he just mentioned his friend's name. As though she was still here and he was still defending her despite it all.

Ichigo closes his eyes tightly and looks away shamefully. He hadn't talk about her, or any of the rest of the soul reapers, ever since he lost nearly everything.

And the realization of that, hit him like a ton of bricks.

What was he doing here? Inside such a beautiful place, when he didn't have anyone, his closest friends, to accompany him and enjoy it with? The loneliness was creeping inside of him again, and it was only a matter of time before he crumbled under the weight of it all. He needed to get out of there, and fast, before it became too hard to handle. Before he broke down in front of the public eye.

In front of Kisuke.

Ichigo wasn't even aware that Kisuke had been speaking to him when he suddenly shakes his head fast and gets up from his spot inside the booth in haste. Almost knocking down Kisuke's bottle of wine with the sudden movement.

"I should go home." Ichigo announces monotonously as he steps out of their secluded booth situated in the back of the restaurant as he gathers his coat and scarf.

Kisuke rises from the table as well. "Ichigo—" He desperately says the boy's name as he reaches for the teen.

"—no." Ichigo deadpans sternly as he stops to look over his shoulder, to give his most apologetic stare he could muster at the man. The man who almost clutched onto his wrist just like before. "I'm sorry Kisuke...Thanks for today." He says with a small downcast smile as he hurriedly rushes down the aisles of the neatly decorated tables and passes by the many people sitting within them as he makes a mad dash for the doors.

Behind him, he can hear many men shouting after him, thinking that he was a dine and dash, but he couldn't care-less what they thought of him, or if they were going to call the police to arrest him. He just starts bolting down the street, his legs taking him into a sprint as he hops over many obstacles in his path. Running for the sake of wanting to get away. What he wanted to get away from, he had no idea, he just wanted to run, to break free. And the faster and the longer he ran, the closer he thought he could get to freedom.

But even when you're trying to break free, something always manages to break you down once again. And Ichigo was no exception to that rule. Because after many minutes of running down random alleyways, bus stops, backyards and streets, he finds himself at the edge of Karakura river, shoes barely touching the frost clinging to the blades of grass at the edge of the river as he pants and heaves heavily. His lungs and throat already burning with each deep breath he takes, currently he's trying hard not to break out into another coughing fit as he had done the night before.

He falls to the ground and onto his rump in the snow as he continues to try and catch his breath, hand pressed to his chest in pain as he looks across the icy river to see that the sun was beginning to set.

He had spent his entire day with Kisuke, and he hadn't even realized that time was flying by.

With a pained expression, Ichigo tightly shuts both his eyes and wills the lump in this throat and the tears in his eyes away to disappear. ' _How long has it been...Since I last said Rukia's name? How long exactly has it been since I last seen her?'_ Ichigo thought in regret.

He doesn't want to think about any of them anymore, he doesn't want to keep feeling this empty loneliness inside his chest every time he thinks about them. It's eating away at him, he knows this, but what can he do about it? He can't help himself, if he's the one who keeps bringing back the painful but wonderful memories about them all.

"Damn it...!" Ichigo shouts out hoarsely. His throat stinging painfully with the horrid screech as he hangs his head in shame. He brings his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. Looking much smaller and all the more pitiful.

Why did this have to happen to him? _Why...?_

"Ichigo...!"

Ichigo flinches in his curled up position in the snow and slowly raises his orange head to look over his shoulder with downcast eyes. Seeing Kisuke holding his cane in one hand, and holding his chest with the other as he pants harshly through his agape mouth, blonde bangs hanging loosely in front of his tired looking steel grey eyes.

"I...Knew...You would come...Here..." The older man gasps out tiredly, sweat licking the side of his face as he continues to breathe heavily through his mouth.

Ichigo closes his eyes in shame and turns his head away from Kisuke, not wanting the man to see the regret and sadness in his eyes. "What do you want?" He grumbles, monotone set in his voice. How was Kisuke always able to find him?

As he rests his chin in the middle of his arms, which are wrapped securely around his legs, Ichigo peers disinterestedly down at the ice covered river before him, his throat still burning mercilessly from his running.

Kisuke heaves heavily and falls onto his butt on the ground behind Ichigo. "Why did you suddenly leave?" Kisuke asks calmly, once he finally catches his breath, he rests his cane across his lap and raises an eyebrow at the back of the teenager's head. "What did you think of?"

Ichigo shakes his head and holds his knees tighter against his chest. "Nothing..." He lies pathetically as he knits his eyebrow together.

Silence stretches on between them, and right when Kisuke thought that he couldn't take it no longer, Ichigo finally breaks the silence.

"Why do you want to see me?" He asks, his throat still hoarse sounding. "I just left you with the bill...And...I'm not a good person to be around...Not right now..." Ichigo states weakly as he cradles his head inside his arms. "Kisuke...I don't know how to deal with this...This whole change..." He states quietly, his voice almost falling to a mere whisper as his heart is filled with unreserved regret.

He doesn't know why he's saying this, and to Kisuke of all people…But he couldn't exactly keep it a secret from the man either, what with the way he's currently carrying himself. Ashamed looking and full of inner turmoil clouding inside his eyes that he couldn't hide.

Kisuke could see right through it anyways.

"You're trying to face it alone." The shop keeper announces grimly.

Ichigo's flinch goes unnoticed by the determined looking Kisuke as he lets his blonde bangs fall messily down and over his eyes. "You don't have to go about it alone Ichigo, can't you see that? Sitting behind you, in the snow looking like a pathetic fool, is a friend that really wants to help you?" Kisuke states, squinting his eyes down at Ichigo's head. Wishing that the teenager was facing him, in order to depict his facial expression and read the emotion that he would mostly likely see, sparkling inside those warm brown eyes.

Ichigo merely closes his eyes tightly and balls his hands into fists as he clutches desperately onto his arms. "Why...?" He trails off in frustration, voice a whisper. "Why is it that it's always you who steps up first? Why are you always the one that wants to help me?" He asks, voice shaking with emotion as his hands start to tremble. "You gave me so much already...I can't even repay you back for all the times in the past because I...Got nothing..." He whispers harshly, but soon gives a light cough when he feels his throat giving him an annoying itch.

"But no one should have to be alone..." Kisuke states offhandedly. "Because...I too...Am tired of being alone..." He whispers quietly, so quietly that he hoped Ichigo wasn't able to hear his pathetic announcement.

But when he sees Ichigo slowly turning his head over his shoulder, to look at him dead in the eyes with a surprised gaze, his heart starts to thump wildly inside his chest when he sees understanding, and sympathy, pouring out of those warm brown eyes.

"How can you help me?" Ichigo suddenly asks, blinking his eyes in confusion. "What can you do, to make me forget?" He asks lightly, eyes softening as he averts his gaze down to the frozen and frosty blades of grass between them. Thinking back to the time where he easily forgot his troubles, by simply talking to the man now seated behind him.

The blonde-haired man shakes his head with a small smile. "I can't make you forget about your problems this time young Ichigo. But I can try and lift the burdens that you feel weighing you down at night. In other words, I'll do my best in order for you to become..." Kisuke clears his throat in embarrassment, cheeks burning in a feverish blush as he casts his steel grey eyes to the sun set. "Happy..." He finally finishes his sentence as he fidgets with his cane inside his lap. Wishing that he brought his hat with him instead of his cane for the umpteenth time that day.

Ichigo's eyes widen in disbelief at such a sure sounding statement as he continues to stare down at the snow below his feet in astonishment. Happy...He never heard anyone say that they would do anything to make him happy. Not his family, as much as they love him, not even his family had ever said that to him. His friends hadn't, but he knew full well that they would want him to be himself and happy again, without them having to say it.

But Kisuke had said it so casually, so earnestly, that he felt that he could trust his every word. As much as the man frustrates and infuriates him to no relief, he wanted to believe in Kisuke's every word at that very moment. Because this man was the only one who ever really sat down, and talked to him man to man, the only one who tries very hard to help him and see that his troubles are fixed through and through to the end. Kisuke wants to help him, and Ichigo really wants the help. He knows he can't deal with this entire thing on his own, as much as he has tried, he can't succeed this way.

Kisuke offered to lift his spirits, offered to make him…Happy…So...What is the problem then? Why is he hesitating?

"Why does it rain the hardest...On the people who deserve the sun?"

Ichigo blinks out of his raging thoughts as he turns around to fully face Kisuke with confusion easily detectable to his expression. "Huh?" He asks dumbly.

Kisuke meets Ichigo's dubious gaze with a warm smile as he tilts his head to the side. "Why do you think it does?"

Ichigo wrinkles his brow in thought as he shrugs his shoulders. "Is this a riddle?" He asks soon after. He never liked riddles.

Kisuke couldn't help but chuckle at the teenager's unknowing, almost innocent naivety as he shifts closer towards Ichigo. "Why does it rain the hardest, on the people who deserve the sun?" Kisuke repeats as he lifts a single finger to the air with a bright smile alighting his face. "Simple! If it doesn't rain, then they wouldn't be searching for their sun."

Ichigo stares sardonically at the shop keeper as his saddened expression, slowly falls to a puzzled scowl. "What does that mean?" He deadpans.

Kisuke smirks and points directly to Ichigo's suddenly surprised expression. "It simply means that the rain represents all your turmoil and troubles, and the sun represents the answers to your many questions. You have to take the troubles you have in life, and make them better. You'll finally find the answer you've been searching for in the end of it all. If you can't help yourself, who else can?" Kisuke then takes his pointing finger, and points it to his own chest with a smile. "I can. If you ever need help, or if you ever want to get away, I'll be here." He smiles.

Ichigo's surprised gaze, slowly falls to that of pain as he averts his eyes down to his hand clutching his knee. "And, if it doesn't stop raining…?" He asks lightly.

"Then find something that is closest to the sun." Kisuke answers with a nod of his blonde head. He soon gets up from the snow fille dground and pats down his rump with his hand. "My butt is cold, and a bit damp." He states with a pout. He looks down to the crestfallen smile on Ichigo's face and offers out his hand, causing the teen to blink up at him owlishly. "Now, do you want some tea? I do believe you're still trying to over-come a cold, Mr. Kurosaki." Kisuke says with a smirk.

Ichigo scowls at the nickname, but slaps his hand within Kisuke's all the same as he's lifted from the snow filled ground without hesitation. "We're still alone Kisuke, just call me by my first name again." He grumbles as he looks up into Kisuke's grey eyes and offers the man a nod of his head. "And...Thanks..." He says quietly before abruptly turning his head away and begins walking up the steps leading to the river. "I want Green Tea, if you have any." He announces in a no-non-sense manner as he stomps up the stairs.

As Kisuke's eyes follow Ichigo's slow but sure movements up the stairs, he soon smiles small and begins following after the teenager. "I think I have some green tea left." He announces happily, with his eyes still following Ichigo's leisurely pace up the steps, he quickly makes his decision. "Do you want a ride back to my place?" He asks mischievously.

Ichigo turns his head over his shoulder and furrows his eyebrows together in confusion as he looks down at Kisuke, who is following closely behind him up the stairs. "A ride?" He repeats skeptically.

Kisuke nods his blonde-head eagerly as he takes one leap and lands directly in front of Ichigo on top of the steps with a devious smirk. "Hold onto me." He implores.

"What?" Ichigo deadpans, eyes narrowing to a glare.

Kisuke rolls his eyes in passion and grabs the teenager by his slender shoulders—Ichigo struggling to break free all the while and cursing loudly up at him—he holds Ichigo tightly to his form by trapping the wiggling teenager with the help of his cane, which is propped up behind Ichigo's lower back, and with his free hand Kisuke hangs onto Ichigo's shoulders with a toothy grin.

And starts flash stepping down the streets without hesitation.

Ichigo tightly shuts his eyes as soon as the rapid running began, and with both his arms, he wraps them around Kisuke's torso and clutches desperately onto the shop keepers' shoulder blades as he starts shouting out profanities all the way down the streets.

A mere green and orange blur of an image to the eyes of the many people lingering inside Karakura streets.

* * *

 _I'm so terribly sorry for the long wait you guys, i swear it won't happen again...it probably will...But you have my word that I am NOT going to drop this story, I actually enjoy typing this story to get away from the world around me, so I think of this story as my safe haven._

 _Which is probably what Ichigo views Kisuke as now. A "Safe Haven" of sorts._

 _What did you guys think about this chapter? Like it? dislike it? Want more hottness going on between them? More fluff? Less fluff? Let me know people! I gotta know so I can possibly fix or edit the chapters to your liking :) considering I'm not even close to finishing this story -.-_

 _-Hella_


	7. Chapter 6: And Situations Are Confusing

**Chapter 6: And Situations are Confusing.**

 _Two weeks later..._

Ichigo rolls over inside his bed and with a scowl pressed firm across his face, he looks directly over to the desk situated beside his bed; directly above the frame of his bed he reaches over to grab his alarm clock.

With a sudden lurch, he slams the clock back onto his nightstand and throws the blankets off in haste as he dashes towards his dresser.

"Shit! I'm late!" He shouts in dismay as he furiously throws his clothes over his shoulders, trying to find his school uniform underneath.

"What the hell happened to my alarm?!" He yells angrily as he runs over to his closet and pulls out a clean beige-colored uniform sweater.

He hadn't had any nightmares plaguing his sleep this time and it was a relief to him as it was a curse to be able to sleep soundly.

But he knew today, just wasn't going to be his day.

For one, he slept in, now he's 15 minutes late for class and that means he would be rushing around inside the empty household trying to get all his shit together.

And another thing...

He's supposed to meet up with Kisuke at his place after school.

Well...He didn't really have to meet with up Kisuke, per se...But he did tell the blonde-haired man the day before that he would try and stop by his shop today, in order to study for a test.

He doesn't know whether or not if Kisuke will take him on his word and wait for his arrival at the shop, but he also knew that he didn't exactly promise Kisuke that he would stop by and study at his shop after school either. So it wasn't written in stone that he'll be visiting Kisuke today so he doesn't really need to go.

But the confusing thing is…Ichigo wants to go, and that's what's troubling him...

Kisuke, in the eyes of Ichigo, has changed a lot since they first met. Kisuke wasn't ignoring him, or pushing him away, or being a smart ass either, but he was being...Not Kisuke at the same time.

Hell _yeah_ Kisuke is still annoying, and he's still frustrating as hell, but he's also being...So nice to him lately that it's puzzling. Whether Kisuke is being nice out of sympathy, or if it's just his choice, Ichigo didn't know, and he doesn't really want to know either.

He's just glad that Kisuke is helping him in his own sort of way, and is relieved that he's finally looking towards a future, without having that empty feeling hurting his chest at the mere thought.

Two weeks may have past, and its March now, but Ichigo still gets the little bouts of depression from time to time and he knows that that'll never change. But they are slowly starting to fade away and are almost non-existent now as he spends his days with the blonde-haired man.

With the help of homework, his family, and Kisuke, it's as though he momentarily forgets his troubles and just lives his life how he would normally live it, even without his soul reaper powers.

Of course his friends are always there helping him, and keeping his mind occupied, but it's really been with the help of Kisuke that he's finally feeling...Like himself again. Whole, instead of empty.

Ichigo can't remember the last time he laughed, but he also can't remember the last time he cried either. His life, for now, has turned back to normal.

Now, it's only a matter of time before Ichigo once again gets used to his little life full of routines and normal everyday teenager problems.

As Ichigo quickly gets dressed into his school uniform, struggling to put on his maroon colored winter coat on as well as zip it up, he turns abruptly around and runs to the bathroom, messily combs through his hair, brushes his teeth fast; and swearing at the top of his lungs when he accidentally jabs his toothbrush into his gums a little bit harder than completely necessary, and after done with that task he runs down stairs, rushes to the kitchen and goes straight to the fridge. He grabs himself an apple—for the hell of it—because breakfast is the most important meal of the day, he then quickly jumps into his sneakers and stubs his toe out the door with a loud curse flying from his lips.

He begins running down the street, biting into his apple with vigor as he quickly runs pass several houses. Karakura High is a bit far from his place, but it's nothing that back alleys, and running through random backyards can't help speed up that long and tiring journey.

Jumping over a wooden fence, and landing on his feet without trouble, he jumps over a dog house, runs pass the old couple sitting in their rocking chairs on their porch and jumps over the other side of the fence as he takes a sharp left-hand turn to dash down the alley.

And smiling to himself all the while.

After a week of fighting off a cold, he felt more energized than usual. He's able to run long distances again without having to stop to cough out a lung, and he's able to yell as loud as he can again at Kisuke when he's bothering him.

But even with all those positive thoughts, he's still doubting the fact that he will show up to school on time.

 _'Hopefully the second bell hasn't rung yet...!'_ Ichigo thought, biting his lip nervously as he skids across the snow, almost losing his balance in the process, but soon he regains it as he once again starts running down the streets without fail.

The first bell had already rung and he's hoping that he makes it into class before the tardy bell rings. He doesn't want to be late again, he was already late for class yesterday, for the fact that his father was bugging the crap out of him—who the hell wakes their son up, by putting them in a head-lock?—and now he'll probably be late yet again, all because he actually had a good night's rest and had slept in.

He blows a stray orange bang away from his eye and folds a longer strand of hair behind his ear. His hair is getting longer to the point where his spiky bangs could fall in front of his eyes and frame both sides of his face, and he can feel his hair tickle the back of his neck as well. It's almost long enough to where he can put it into a small pony-tail behind his head. He definitely needed a haircut before he starts looking like a certain red-headed, loud mouth, tattoo wearing moron.

He usually gets his haircut by help of Yuzu, but recently Yuzu, as goes the rest of his family has been quite busy lately.

A lot of patients have been showing up inside their clinic/home for a while now. Claiming to have severe migraines, dizzy spells, bouts of hysteria and memory loss, and for some strange reason mostly all of the patients that have been showing up at their door step—whether it be the elders, teenagers, and even children—have all claimed to have those exact same symptoms. It's odd. And there was really nothing his father could do about it, other than the fact that he prescribes them pain and headache medication, and orders them to bed rest.

Ichigo couldn't think of a good enough reason why they all claim to have these exact same symptoms, he was thinking that maybe it was something in the water they are drinking, or maybe they're all battling the flu bug—considering it is winter—and because March is the coldest month of the season. But everything just doesn't add up.

Ichigo shakes his head to relieve him of the brain wracking and focuses fully on his surroundings. He can't stop to think about it now, not when he's late for school and not when he has his own problems to deal with, and especially not when he's trying hard to not forget about what he had just studied the night before.

With the help of a certain blonde-haired shop keeper tutoring him.

He soon scowls at his own train of thought as he runs pass the school's gates and heads straight for the front doors of the building. His chest heaving and his heart hammering like a war drum all the while, he wasn't sick anymore and nothing was holding him back now, but as soon as he jogs up the steps and quickly pulls open the school doors, he runs right into someone on his way through the doorway.

"Wah!" He shouts in dismay as he goes careening into somebody's chest, hard, and flies forward in his momentum.

Along with the stranger, who he practically tackled down to the floor in his haste.

"Ugh..." They groan in unison from the tiled floor.

Ichigo quickly lifts his head off of the stranger's chest and meets eye to eye with none other than the man plaguing his thoughts, Kisuke Urahara.

"Kisuke?" Ichigo calls the man's name dubiously as he furrows his eyebrows together in confusion, he lifts himself off of the man and sits down directly at Kisuke's feet. "What're you doing here?" He asks as he rubs his forehead gingerly.

Kisuke groans quietly as well as he sits up from the floor, rubbing the middle of his chest with slight pain evident inside his facial expression. "Owie..." He mutters under his breath before looking into Ichigo's confused ridden eyes. "I'm not following you, if that's what you're thinking." Kisuke quickly defends himself. "I just came here to drop off some of your homework assignments that you left at my shop." He explains with a smile as he digs in his black kimono and pulls out sheets of paper and a blue booklet.

"Uhh..." Ichigo trails off in slight surprise as he takes the book and papers offered out towards him from Kisuke. "Thanks," He states offhandedly, blinking in surprise. "I didn't even notice that they were missing. I would've been lost without them." He says with a small smile as he places the papers and booklet into his book-bag at his side. "Thank you." He says with a nod.

"No problem at all, Ichigo." Kisuke states with a warm smile as he shifts closer towards the teen at his feet, timidly he reaches for the teenager's long hair when he notices something fluttering just in between Ichigo's orange bangs.

Ichigo instantly leans backwards with a light blush staining across his cheeks, when he notices the shop keeper reaching towards him. "Wh-what're you?" He asks feverishly as he tightly shuts his eyes and wills his body not to over-react at the small gesture.

When he hears Kisuke chuckling from in front of him, he peeks open his eyes, to see the man looking right at him with a smile stretched widely across his face as he pulls out a dust ball from within his long bangs.

"Dust." Kisuke announces to the teen as he holds the dust between two of his fingers. "Must've caught it when you tackled me to the floor." He states with a chuckle.

Ichigo blushes in embarrassment and ducks his head. "Oh." He mutters simply as he stares down at the floor between them. _'My heart feels like it's going to fall out of my chest.'_ His head whispers, his eyebrows knitting together with sudden confusion. _'Why?'_

"Are you alright? You look troubled." Kisuke asks lightly in concern as he tilts his head to the side and shields the bottom half of his face with his fan. "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" He couldn't help but say it with a smile.

Ichigo quickly shakes his head and looks back to Kisuke. "No. B-but I should get to class. I'm already late." He states distractedly as he swiftly gets up from the floor, but before he walks away, he holds out his hand for Kisuke to take.

Which the shop keeper does with an elegant sounding "Why thank you, sir." As he's lifted from the ground without much trouble.

As they both pat themselves down to rid themselves of the dust still clinging to their clothing from the dirty floor; Ichigo peeks his eyes over towards the blonde man, to see him fussing over his black kimono, which is littered with dust and pieces of debris.

He couldn't help but smirk at the man as he takes a step towards him. "You got a lot of dust on your back." Ichigo comments, pointing to the black kimono.

"Where?" Kisuke asks, trying hard to peek over his shoulder.

Ichigo merely shakes his head at the man's idiocy as he helps pluck away the little pieces of garbage. "Everywhere." He states with a small smile.

"And whose fault is that?" Kisuke teases lightly as he tries to turn around. But when he feels Ichigo's hand on his shoulder. He halts mid-step.

"Stand still. I'll help you." Ichigo states as he begins plucking away the pieces of rubbish. "I'm already late for class anyways, so what's another five minutes?" He announces quietly. Inwardly he shakes his head at his own foolish decision as he flicks away the dusts still clinging to Kisuke's kimono with a small inaudible sigh slipping past his lips.

Fully knowing that Kisuke is more than capable of handling the dust particles on his own, but for some odd reason, Ichigo wanted to stay and help him. He doesn't know the reason why, but he doesn't want to question it either. A rather scary, yet delicate, balance.

"Thank you..." Kisuke states, voice heavy and heart pounding inside his chest. He can feel Ichigo's fingertips lightly ghosting over his shoulder blades in a deliciously frenzied rhythm. He shivers lightly when he feels the teenager's fingertips glide gently across his right shoulder blade, a rather sensitive area upon his back. And he tilts his head back further, allowing the teenager to do as he will.

"Did you come all the way to school, just to drop off my book?" Ichigo casually asks, just to start up a conversation. It was way too damn quiet and it was like they were doing something...Intimate in the hallway. When he was merely helping Kisuke clean off his kimono.

Which was weird in its own way, even though it's a completely innocent act. Ichigo couldn't help but feel as though he's doing something...Dirty. And if someone were to walk out and see them, he had a feeling that he would most likely die of utter embarrassment and vow to never lay a hand upon Kisuke again.

 _'I'm over thinking things...'_ Ichigo mentally sighs heavily at himself in disappointment.

Kisuke soon clears his throat, head still slightly tilted back. "Uh, yeah. I was going to drop off your assignments last night, but then I figured since you went home pretty late, you were probably already asleep. So I waited until today." He explains with a smile heard in his tone, but none seen on his expression. He couldn't exactly smile when he can feel Ichigo's delicate hands gliding every which way across his shoulders. It was very distracting, not to mention very...Delightful. And _damn_ _Ichigo_ for being so gentle for once in his _life_.

Ichigo nods his head in satisfaction soon after looking every which way across Kisuke's now clean back and finds that he had successfully cleaned off the entire kimono.

But even though he cleaned off the kimono, his hands were still moving on their own accord.

Ichigo shifts his weight onto the other leg, and right when he was about to pull away, he accidentally presses a bit too heavily onto Kisuke's right shoulder blade with his finger's.

Which causes the man in front of him to give a loud gasp and a hard shudder.

Ichigo quickly takes his hands away after that as he blushes brightly.

Kisuke takes two steps forward and spins around on his heel with a bright—and completely fake—smile. "Sorry! You startled me." He announces in embarrassment as he hides his face behind his fan, easily noticing the surprised facial expression that Ichigo has on with mortification.

Ichigo clears his throat and shifts his book-bag more comfortably upon his shoulder. "S-sorry. Guess I should go..." He trails off as he thumbs behind his shoulder. "The bell must've rung a long time ago." He announces, mostly to himself, as he gives Kisuke a wave of his hand and turns around.

Immediately he blushes brightly as he recalls the gasp he heard. _'Ticklish, he's ticklish. It wasn't a certain type of gasp. Wait! What am I thinking? Of course it wasn't that kind of gasp! Why would I even bring it up?!'_ His mind screams as he quickly shakes his head, trying hard to think about something else, other than the man behind him.

"Ichigo!" He hears Kisuke call from behind him.

Ichigo wills the blush away from his face as he turns his head over his shoulder with a small scowl pressed across his face. Wanting to appear as normal as possible in the analytic eyes of Kisuke Urahara. "Yeah?" He calls back gruffly.

"Will you be studying at my shop after school?" Kisuke asks, tilting his head to the side, and still hiding the bottom half of his face with his fan.

 _'If you gasp again.'_ Ichigo's mind chimes. He blushes brightly and spins around quickly. _'What the fuck?!'_ He screams inside his head. "Yeah! I'll go over after school!" Ichigo loudly calls from over his shoulder as he waves behind his head once again and proceeds down the hall.

Taking longer strides and faster steps than necessary. Practically stomping all the way down the hall until he was far away from Kisuke and out of ear-shot altogether.

When he hears the front doors of the school opening and closing behind him down the hallway, he sighs heavily in relief as he takes a left hand turn.

He then stops in the hall after rounding the corner and bangs his back against the wall as he places a hand over his chest. Feeling his heart thumping against his chest erratically. _'This is Kisuke! Kisuke Urahara! The MAN that helped me train, a perverted type of MAN, an IDIOT of a MAN. Who's a MAN. My heart should NOT be beating this hard for another MAN.'_ He thought furiously and in mild shame as he lightly punches the middle of his chest, wanting his heart to stop the erratic and excited beat. Still, he felt his cheeks light up considerably when he hears Kisuke gasp inside his head once again. _'His head was tilted back too…'_ His mind comments.

"Shut up!" He shouts at himself as he pulls his orange bangs over his feverishly blushing face.

"Ichigo?"

"It's nothing!" Ichigo shouts aloud as he quickly turns towards the voice, to see Orihime blinking owlishly up at him, with her hand hanging in mid-hair towards him. His blushing face only becomes all the more brighter as he glances at his surroundings. "U-uhh..." He trails off, sounding just as idiotic as he must look. He clears his throat loudly and averts his gaze to his sneakers. "Hi Orihime...What's up?" He asks casually, scratching at his head nervously.

Orihime tilts her head to the side in confusion, but soon smiles brightly as she waves her hand dismissively. "Oh! Nothing at all! I was just wondering why you were yelling at yourself in the hallway, but I can see that you're perfectly fine!" She states, all too happily as she points down the hallway eagerly. "Let's head to class! I guess we both woke up kind of late, huh? Heh heh, heheheheh, heh heh..." She laughs.

And the laugh Ichigo heard was the most sickest, most faked thing he had ever heard come out of her happily smiling mouth. But he'd rather not question her nervousness as they start heading to their class in stride with one another, deciding that it's better not to start up a conversation about why she is laughing so awkwardly. Because he was probably the reason why.

"Was that Kisuke I saw leaving the school?" Orihime soon asks casually as she hugs her books to her breasts.

Ichigo face flushes unintentionally at the mere mention of Kisuke's name, and silently he curses his own reaction as he nods his head. "Y-yeah, that was him." He says, forcing out the answer with a squeak heard in his voice.

"Wonder what he was doing here...?" Orihime trails off in what sounds like curiosity as she hums lightly under her breath in thought. "Maybe he's a new teacher here!" She soon gasps in surprise. "Or maybe he's—Ichigo?" She suddenly calls Ichigo's name when she happens to notice that Ichigo is falling behind her inside the hallway.

Instantly she knew that something was off with him. She can tell that much just by looking at him, not to mention he was blushing rather heatedly when she happened to bump into him. He must've been thinking about something pretty hard to make him get lost in thought like that, because Ichigo soon looks up at her in surprise, and she can still see the light blush staining his scowling expression.

Ichigo then plasters on a fake smile as he quickly picks up his pace and begins walking once again beside Orihime. "Huh? What were you saying, Orihime?" He asks politely. If talking to the most talkative girl in school would help him forget about what had just happened in the hallway, then he was willing to give it a shot.

Orihime shakes her head with a wide smile as she scratches behind her head. "Nothing at all! Just babbling as usual heh heh." She giggles timidly as she hugs her books tighter to her chest and looks down to the tiled floor at her shoes.

 _'Something is obviously bothering him...Should I ask him about it?'_ She thought, eyes sparkling with emotion. _'But the last time we asked what was wrong with Ichigo, he got even more depressed and even angry at us...Maybe I should just leave him alone for now..? Maybe he'll tell me about it sooner or later...?'_ She thought, and with a single nod of her orange colored head she comes up with an idea. _'Ichigo probably won't tell me or anyone else what's bugging him. Then maybe I'll just investigate with Tatsuki later. Ooh! Super-Secret Investigation Time! I can finally wear my black hat and matching black gloves!'_ She thought in pure excitement as she does a single fist pump in the air with a devious little giggle slipping past her lips.

"Uh...Orihime?"

"Yeah?!" She shouts loudly in surprise as she looks over her shoulder with a larger-than-normal-grin.

When she looks at Ichigo's confused expression, he thumbs towards the door beside him, and cocks her head to the side in confusion.

"This is your classroom." Ichigo explains to the air-headed girl, who then laughs loudly as she practically runs into the classroom beside him. He soon sighs under his breath and walks towards his own classroom located just beside the one Orihime ran into.

With his face twisted into a confused scowl, he then absorbs himself with his confused ridden thoughts. _'Kisuke is just…Being Kisuke! So what if he…If he's so…I'm thinking too much…I'm still thinking about him, damn it! Why can't he get outta my head for once?'_ He harshly scolds himself.

...

As Ichigo sits inside his class, tuning out everything around him as he writes down the notes written across the black board; his thoughts keep reeling back to the days that he and Kisuke have spent together.

They have been hanging out more than usual as of recent. Some days they won't see each other at all, some days they will spend the entire day together. And some other days, they will casually bump into one another on the streets and start having conversations right in the middle of the streets.

Either way, no matter how hard Ichigo looked at it, they've been spending a lot of their days with each other, simply talking, or walking without saying two words to each other. Just merely taken-in the day and basking in each other's comfortable silence.

He was beginning to think that it must look suspicious in the eyes of the many people around them. They've been spending too much time together, even he can admit that. But at the same time, he doesn't really give a shit either. It was his business and his alone, and if people didn't like the idea, then tough. Kisuke makes him happy.

Ichigo shakes his head at his train of thought and starts writing down more of the notes on the board. Notes that he should be studying for his final.

 _'Does Kisuke find it odd that we're hanging out together more than usual too? Or…Does he not think about it at all?'_ Now that he thought about it, Kisuke has been acting differently around him, as though he's tip-toeing around certain conversations and subjects with him.

Like he was hiding something from him.

Sure, Kisuke is still his usual annoying self, frustrating as hell and Ichigo constantly finds himself having to threaten Kisuke in order to keep his damn mouth shut every once in a while, but Ichigo has started to notice that the man is avoiding eye contact with him as well, and it's like he's doing it on purpose too, and it doesn't matter whether Ichigo tilts his head to the side to try and read the emotion in his eyes, Kisuke would immediately turn his head away or hide behind his fan.

And then there was that one time, where Ichigo was back at Kisuke's shop, wrestling with Jinta—more like actual fighting to the point where fists started flying and curse words were being exchanged; and Jinta—that little skeeze—had knocked him out cold, with his infamous broom and when Ichigo awoke, he found Kisuke hovering over him, eyes full of concern and worry.

It was nice seeing that expression on Kisuke's face, but when he got up to ask how long he was out, Kisuke suddenly plasters on his fake smile and responds with a cheery sounding. "Oh! For a while now Mr. Kurosaki! I thought you were dead." As he then starts laughing loudly.

Ichigo, or course, responds to that fake enthusiasm by punching Kisuke's light's out as he swiftly walks away, muttering under his breath a hurried retort of: "Seems like you were worried." Sarcastically from over his shoulder.

He knows he shouldn't have punched Kisuke. Because the man really was worried about him when he woke up...But at the same time, he wanted Kisuke to fuss over him, and not put on an act to be this happy-go-lucky shop keeper that he pretends to be around him and the others.

It's strange, and it is something that Ichigo has never felt before; he had never wanted anyone to make a big deal out of him before, not ever. And he doesn't even know the reason why he wanted Kisuke to worry about him in the first place, but it was just...A nice feeling to be worried over and fussed by the man. Comforting almost.

If only Kisuke would stop being such a fool around him and just be that calm, smooth and sauvé person that Ichigo has seen back in the steak house that he and Kisuke had went to a couple weeks back.

He liked that version of Kisuke, to the point where he wanted to see that side of the man more often.

Ichigo sighs heavily at the memory as he scribbles more notes down onto his book haphazardly, uncaring whether or not if his hand writing was neat.

The more Ichigo thought about it, each visit he makes with blonde-haired man, brings him just a little closer to seeing the man that Kisuke really is. And Kisuke gets to see the real him in exchange. But with each step they take, another would take a step back. He doesn't know whether that's a good thing, or a bad thing, but if he's becoming closer to the mysterious man, than he was willing to show Kisuke just who exactly he was.

It was like a game, this friendship he was in with Kisuke. Every time they both get one step closer to one another, someone would suddenly take three steps back, just to see the reaction it causes. It's an amusing game, to say the least. But a very delicate and infuriating balance as well.

Kisuke likes to hide things from him, and he likes to hide things from Kisuke. A secretive kind of game, but will there ever be a winner in the end of it all?

...

The orange-haired teenager walks out the double doors of Karakura High with a deep sigh of relief slipping past his lips; his breath creating a small misty cloud in the chilling air of early March with the exhale. He shakes his shoulders; his book-bag's weight unnaturally heavy that it causes his arm to go momentarily numb and unfeeling. He looks up to the clear blue sky over his bright orange head and let's a flinch of a smile appear across his youthful features, he then hops down the stairs.

 _'Time to go to Kisuke's.'_ He notes inside his head distractedly, without his knowing.

"Ichigo!"

He tilts his head in the direction of where the voice was coming from and turns around, to see Orihime waving her hand above her head from within the hallway behind him, and looking anything but nervous, like he had seen within the teenage girl earlier that day.

Ichigo offers the bubbly girl a small smile as he waits for her at the bottom of the steps. "Hi Orihime, is something wrong?" He asks casually as he shifts his weight onto his other leg, slinging his heavy book-bag over his other shoulder more comfortably.

Orihime hops down the last remaining step and smiles happily up at the taller teen. "Nothing is wrong! I just wanted to know where you were planning on heading after school." She asks casually, wanting to appear as normal as possible in the eyes of Ichigo.

Who tilts his head up to the sky in thought. "Uhh, I don't know. I was planning on studying over at my house today. So I think I'll be pretty busy..." He replies, bead of sweat licking the side of his forehead as he timidly scratches his cheek. _'Why am I lying to her?'_ He thought dubiously as he looks down at his sneakers.

"Oh! Okay!" Orihime replies, smiling widely. "Well, I guess I should go do the same thing then. I'll see tomorrow Ichigo! Good luck studying!" She hollers merrily from over her shoulder as she starts jogging up ahead, waving down her dark haired friend, named Tatsuki.

Who waves over to Ichigo as well, before she walks in stride with the happily smiling Orihime.

Ichigo waves his hand over his head at the duo, before proceeding on to his destination.

Which was Urahara's shop.

As he walks past the gates of Karakura High, he looks down at his shoes with confusion crumpling his once happily smiling expression.

 _'Why did I lie to Orihime like that? I should've just told her the truth and ask her if she wanted to join...'_ Ichigo thought quizzically, unsure of his own decision. _'I told Urahara that I would study at his place right after school, and he was perfectly fine with that idea, so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have mind if I invited the rest of my friends over...'_ His inner voice trails off suspiciously. _'It feels like I'm hiding something from them...Even I'm starting to think that I'm hiding something from myself. Like I'm keeping a secret…Almost like I'm keeping Kisuke a secret.'_ He thought as he scowls down at his sneakers.

As Ichigo continues to glare down at his own shoes, deep in thought, he doesn't bother to watch where he's going as he continues to walk across the street. His legs naturally leading him to his destination without him even having to look up.

He suspected that even if he was blind-folded, he would still easily find his way to Urahara's shop no problem.

Taking into consideration that Ichigo had visited his shop so many times already, he might as well live there.

 _'That's saying something...'_ Ichigo thought, narrowing his eyes in disdain.

...

"Urahara? You here?" Ichigo calls from within the doorway of the notorious candy store just as he walks into the shop.

He gently places his book-bag onto the floor at his usual sitting spot at the rounded, circle shaped table as he slides open the door nearest to the table. Just to let some cool fresh air waft into the surprisingly hot candy shop.

He shrugs out of his jacket and hangs it onto the coat rack near the door and sits down in his spot soon after, facing the door with his back pressed against the wall, he drags his book-bag to his side at the table and pulls out the required books he needed in order to study.

"Ichigo?"

Said teen turns his head into the direction of Urahara's voice and gives the blonde-haired man a two finger salute. "Yo." He greets casually, before his eyebrows shoot up practically to his hairline at the sight of Kisuke's choice of clothing.

Which was a plain white dress shirt, top two buttons at the collar undone as he paired it off with tanned colored jeans, that are...Surprisingly...Tight-fitted. With his green and white striped hat all but forgotten about as his unruly blonde hair is—surprisingly enough—kept tied back in a messy pony-tail behind his head, bright blonde bangs framing the sides of his handsome face and hanging down the center of his nose.

Kisuke walks to Ichigo's side at the table with his Benihime clutched inside his hand and he happily takes a seat beside the gawking teenager. "Hello Ichigo, I didn't even hear you come in." He states in his delighted tone of voice as he smiles crookedly at Ichigo, who is sitting just a few inches away from him.

Kisuke soon cocks his head to the side in confusion when he notices that Ichigo is simply staring at him, unblinking, and staring like he had done the day they both went to the restaurant two weeks back.

He starts to visibly fidget under Ichigo's constant stare—after silent seconds tick-on by without a care in the world and he clears his throat to fully grab the teenager's attention. "You're staring again, Mr. Kurosaki..." He comments quietly, nervously wringing his hands around Benihime's hilt.

Ichigo blinks his eyes numerous times and shakes his head fast. "O-oh...Sorry." He replies in embarrassment as he meekly scratches his flushed cheek. "I guess I'm still not used to seeing you wear normal human clothes yet." He states with a lop-sided smirk.

Unintentionally making Kisuke's heart-hammer inside his chest at the mentioning of the word "Yet" as though he plans to see the man dress in normal human outfits more often.

"Why are you wearing normal clothes anyways?" Ichigo soon asks, looking at Kisuke's clothing once again, eyes unconsciously racking down every inch of Kisuke's body.

Kisuke looks down at his clothes and shrugs a shoulder casually. "I had a meeting with some very important people this afternoon. Basically they told me that they liked a certain invention that I had created, which I had sent to them via mail order many months back on a whim, they also told me that they are willing to send me to Tokyo for a five day, all-expense paid trip, in order for me to try and expand my idea to the more experienced—Ahem, uh, Ichigo? Are you even listening?" Kisuke suddenly asks, cutting off his sentence mid-speech, when he notices that the teenager was simply staring at him, rather sardonically.

Looking to be bored out of his skull actually.

"Uhh..." Ichigo trails off. "Hardly..." He soon admits as he averts his gaze. "I'm not one for long stories...Or business talk..." He deadpans, pursing his lip at his own flaw.

Kisuke merely smiles small at the teenagers blunt attitude and points to the papers and stack of text books piled right in front of Ichigo at the table. "Well, since I'm _boring_ _you_." He states with a passionate roll of his eyes. "Are you studying all of these?" He asks casually, picking up the nearest book and flicking through the pages in fake interest. He merely wanted to change the subject and direct Ichigo's attention on something other than himself.

Ichigo looks back down to his books and shakes his head in refusal. "No. I'm only studying for this," He then slides a long list of notes from his booklet and points to the text book in Kisuke's hands. "And I have to memorize just a few subjects from that book. I already have them highlighted." He notes.

"Oh..." Kisuke trails off, before he smiles broadly at the teen. "Well this is too much work for me!" He exclaims loudly, tossing the book over to Ichigo with a smile. "If you're gonna be studying, I might as well make some tea!" He announces in a chipper voice as he gets up from his spot at the table and walks to the kitchen.

Ichigo's eyes unintentionally following after Kisuke's retreating figure soon after his departure, his eyes sweeping up and down the older male's backside. Watching in light fascination—and surprise—at Kisuke's sashaying, almost hypnotizing, stride. The blonde-haired man looks as though he was sauntering with radiating confidence.

 _'Like he knows I'm watching him leave...'_ Ichigo thought, eyes still glued to Kisuke's back and long model-esque legs.

And soon as that thought runs through his mind, his eyes widen considerably and quickly he takes his eyes off of Kisuke's hypnotizing figure and curses his own idiotic—not to mention incredibly embarrassing—reaction under his breath.

But when the pleasant image of Kisuke wearing such form fitting pants comes popping up inside his head once again, he couldn't help but blush.

 _'Why am I reacting this way? I feel like such a pervert right now!'_ He thought furiously, narrowing his eyes down at his text books. Eyes unseeing to his own surroundings as he focuses fully on his thoughts. _'I never...I don't remember ever feeling like this...Or thinking this way about anyone…'_ He lightly presses a hand to his chest and feeling his heart hammer against his hand, like it has done just that morning when he helped Kisuke dust off his kimono.

Ichigo then shakes his head in refusal as he tightly knits his eyebrows together in confusion and frustration. _'Do I...Do I like...Kisuke?'_ The thought to him sounded completely ridiculous, and having to repeat that several times in his head just sounded unbelievably...Well, gay.

Does that make him gay? For having those kinds of thoughts about Kisuke? Well _of course_ no straight man watches another man leave a room, especially when said "straight man" only keeps his eyes on another man's ass.

"Tea time!" Kisuke rejoices cheerfully as he sets the tray down onto the table. Blinking in surprise at the way Ichigo nearly jumps out of his skin when he merely placed the tea tray down in front of him.

It seems as though he has just successfully disturbed Ichigo from his train of thought.

"I'm sorry, were you concentrating on your studying?" Kisuke asks, a bit of regret heard inside his tone as he purses his lip in displeasure. "Sorry!" He soon chirps happily as he waves his fan about in the air.

Ichigo shakes his head fast as he quickly occupies himself, and his mind, by pouring the tea into two separate cups. "N-no! I wasn't studying..."

 _'I don't think I'll be able to study at all...Not with the way my train of thoughts are going...'_ Ichigo thought, intently staring at his shaking hands, which are messily pouring tea all over the cups, including the table.

Kisuke's eyes follow every shaky and rattled movement Ichigo is making, rather intently, and that's when he knew that something was up with the younger male.

Gently Kisuke places his hand on top of Ichigo's trembling arm, and stares deeply into the startled eyes of the younger male looking straight at him. Easily detecting the surprise and nervousness clouding the teenager's light brown eyes.

"Ichigo...What's wrong...?" Kisuke asks gently, grey eyes still searching for an answer within the boy.

Ichigo then averts his gaze to the table between them and tightly shuts both his eyes, lowering his shaking limbs in order to set the tea-pot down he quietly clears his throat. "M-my...My thoughts are..." He trails off, unsure of how to word his confusing thoughts. "I'm feeling really..." He tries again, but then sighs heavily in frustration at his sudden stuttering problem as he fists his hands on the table in vexation. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" He states instead as he looks shamefully down to the floor.

Kisuke didn't know what was wrong with Ichigo any more than Ichigo knew himself. Wasn't the teenager just fine this morning? He was acting like himself these past few days as well, he was smiling again, talking so casually and earnestly that Kisuke thought that Ichigo Kurosaki was actually back and here to stay once again.

But now here they sat at his table inside his shop, with Ichigo's head bowed in shame and Kisuke feeling just bit further away from the teenager than before.

He knew that the teenager tends to over-think things and that he troubles himself with just his thoughts alone. But the question was, how could he possibly make Ichigo feel better? And make him momentarily forget his problems all at once?

"Tell me what you're thinking." Kisuke commands, but in a soft, kinder tone of voice as he shifts closer to Ichigo side at the table, wanting his full attention.

Which the teenager all too shyly gives him as he peeks his light brown eyes up at the blonde-haired man—who is now sitting closer to him at the table—from underneath his long orange bangs.

Timidly Ichigo reaches for his tea and gently places the rim of the cup between his scowling lips. _'How should I tell Kisuke what's on my mind, without actually telling him that he's the one causing me trouble?'_ Ichigo thought in confusion.

The teen then sighs blissfully at the warmth of the tea that cascades down his throat and gently places the cup back down onto the table, before finally meeting Kisuke's depicting stare, as though that shot alone gave him the courage he most definitely needed.

"Did you ever like someone that you're not supposed to?" Ichigo suddenly blurts, sounding immensely curious as he stares into Kisuke's surprised, and rather shocked, looking grey eyes.

"Wh-what?" The shop-keeper breathes.

"You heard me." Ichigo deadpans, pursing his lip stubbornly.

Kisuke wrinkles his eyebrows together in confusion, before slowly shaking his head. "No..." he trails off uncertainly. "What exactly does this have to do about you?" Then a light-bulb flicks on inside his brain. "Wait...Do you...Have feelings...For someone you're not supposed to?" Kisuke slowly pronounces, disbelief easily heard inside his tone as he grey eyes widen further at the sight before him.

Ichigo is now looking shamefully down at the table between them, with a bright blush staining across his cheeks.

And that's all Kisuke needed to see to know Ichigo's exact answer.

"When you put it like that, it sounds like you're surprised." Ichigo states in embarrassment as he fusses with the beaded bracelet around his wrist.

 _'He does have feelings for someone...'_ Kisuke thought, heart pounding painfully inside his chest. _'Should I ask him who it is?'_ He thought in confusion.

Ichigo sighs heavily and scratches his head. "Look, I don't know how I feel. I'm just starting to realize this myself and I don't know what I should do about it right now." He states in complete honesty as he looks back to Kisuke. "If I just go about it, yenno, like take it day by day and stuff, maybe I'll realize something. But for now, I don't know what I should think, or what I should do. So I'm just leaving everything as they are. Maybe the feelings will go away by itself and maybe it won't. I'll just have to wait and see for myself." Ichigo declares, nodding his head at his own choice of words as he sets his chin in the middle of his palm and props his arm up on the table. "You get what I'm trying to say?" Ichigo asks, a bit unsure of Kisuke's reaction as he looks towards the blonde-haired man.

Kisuke's reaction wasn't much of a reaction at all. No scratch that, the shop keeper didn't react at all. Period. There wasn't any expression on his usually happily smiling face, just complete apathy.

Did he say something wrong? Did Kisuke actually figure out that he was actually talking about him all along?

"Oh, I see what you're saying." Kisuke announces, voice set in a monotone. "And I completely understand. You should give it time, Ichigo. You don't want to rush these kinds of things." He states, voice and eyes serious.

Ichigo peers closer at the man in front of him, at the stranger sitting before him, and felt that this person sitting in front of him, wasn't Kisuke at all. Kisuke never talked in such a serious manner, only when it concerned much more important things such as the soul society and other things that are happening inside Karakura Town. Kisuke is acting like a much different person, not even bothering to give him advice on top of that.

What happened to his idiotic shop keeper?

Ichigo shifts uncomfortably in his spot. "Hey...You alright Kisuke? You look sick or something." Ichigo tries to change the subject, before Kisuke got even more serious. He needed the other Kisuke back and fast if he ever wanted him to act normal again and to make the guilt go away.

Kisuke quickly blinks his eyes and looks back up at Ichigo with a bright smile. "I'm fine Mr. Kurosaki!" He exclaims with a grin. "I think I'll take a nap though, just in case I am coming down with something." He states with a melancholy smile as he gets up from the table.

"W-wait...Kisuke!" Ichigo tries to reason with the man as he reaches over the table in order to grab hold of Kisuke's wrist, but it is soon pulled completely out of his reach as Kisuke abruptly throws his arms up in the air, in what looked to be a cheer.

"If you need me, I'll be in my room!" The blonde-haired man sings merrily from over his shoulder as he makes a hasty retreat to his room, arms still held high above his head as he all but whoops and cheers down the hallway.

Leaving behind a very confused looking Ichigo at the table. _'Did I say something wrong...?'_ He thought dubiously. _'Maybe I did...Maybe I asked too personal of a question. Maybe he actually did like someone, but it never worked out...?'_ Ichigo then starts dreading the thought that maybe he did bring up a rather touchy subject with the man.

Considering that he barely knew Kisuke's life in the past at all, prior to him meeting Kisuke. Maybe the man did fall in love with someone, but he never got the chance to do anything about it until it was too late?

Then a thought occurred to him. A rather depressing thought.

 _'Will that happen to me...?'_ Ichigo quickly disdained that idea, he didn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to worry about such thing happening to him, he has too much on his plate already. How could he possibly get caught up in all this, when he has so much to deal with?

But with his head telling him to run to the man and demand an explanation on why he'd abruptly left, he couldn't exactly focus on his homework and studying, not without the feeling of worry blossoming inside his chest.

He soon shakes his head with an exasperated sigh slipping past his lips as he swiftly takes the pencil in his hand and holds it near the table. "I came here to study..." Ichigo announces, looking down to his neglected pile of books and papers. "The least I could do is actually study." But even as he pulls out a sheet of paper, and continues doing the notes and solving his past mistakes, his thoughts kept reeling back to Kisuke.

* * *

 _This one is a little bit longer._

 _Well there you have it, chapter 6 that is under chapter 7 of "Wicked Games" I'm planning on re-titling the story. But that's still under consideration. I just don't like the title of this story, I need something less confusing. Oh well, I'll figure it out sooner or later._

 _-Hella._


End file.
